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&  DODGE 

Pttbljsher  of 

"THE  FERRET" 


138   H.  BROADWAY 
LOK^O  BEACH,  CALIF.,   U. 


H. 


DODGE 


COAT  •  Of 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2007  with  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


http://www.archive.org/details/ferretbookoneducOOdodgrich 


THE  FERRET 

A  BOOK  ON  EDUCATION.  FREE  FROM 

POLITICS.  CHRISTIANITY,  OTHER 

RELIGIONS  OR  BIASED 

OPINIONS 


BY 
H.  L.  DODGE 

Author  of 

'The  Blonde  Eskimo" 

"Kaiser  Nicotine" 

Etc. 


4 


Copyright  1920 

By  H.  L.  Dodge 

Long  Beach,  California 

U.  S.  A. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS 

Page 

Introduction 9 

Men  Who  Think  Advance  the  World 10 

Misinformation  11 

Americans  Do  Not  Speak  English  11 

Paragraph  in  Strict  English 12 

Quotation  from  Chaucer  13 

Free  Translation  of  Same  14 

Definitions  of  American  Words  14 

Pitfalls  in  Spelling  15 

Emerson  the  Weaver  of  Words 16 

Erroneous  Pronunciation  17 

Significance  of  Words 19 

Drawing  Contracts  19 

Information  from  Authentic  Sources  20 

Benjamin   Franklin's   Views   on   Education 20 

Niceties  of  Correct  Accent  21 

Science  of  Speech 22 

Choice  and  Contrast  of  Words  25 

Words  Adopted  from  Other  Languages 27 

Newspaper  Education  27 

Boogy-boo  Headlines 28 

Great  American  Educator 28 

Small   Beginnings 29 

One  of  the  First  Public  Schools  in  America 30 

First  College  in  United  States  30 

Art  of  Printing  31 

First  Newspaper  in  United  States 32 

First  Railroad  in  America   „  33 

First  Bicycle  in  America  33 

Polyandry  34 

Most  Ancient  Inhabited  City  in  the  World.... 34 

King  Solomon  Was  Not  a  White  Man 34 

Family  Intermarriages  Destroys  Nations  35 

City  of  London  Is  Not  a  Mile  Square 35 

The  "Union  Jack"  Is  Not  the  Flag  of  England 37 

Power  of  the  Sultan  37 

Customs  in  Harems 38 

Solomon  Out-Solomoned  39 

Two  Modern  Nations  Are  Without  Constitutions — Japan 

and  England  39 

Styles  and  Titles  of  Monarchs  40 

American  Gallantry  Rewarded  with  Feudalism  Titles 41 

American  Titles  42 

Correct  Names  of  Royalty  42 

Napoleon  Was  Not  His  Name  44 

Christopher  Columbus  Was  Not  His  Name 45 

There  Is  No  Chinese  Nation 45 

Languages  of  "China" 46 

England,  Ireland,  Scotland  and  Australia  Are  Misnamed 47 


42025 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS  (ContJnaed) 

Page 

There  Is  No  Russia  47 

There  Is  No  Such  Place  as  Germany  47 

A  So-Called  Dutchman  Is  Not  a  German 48 

Popes  of  Rome  48 

Laird  of  Skibo  49 

Carnegie  Was  Not  the  Originator  of  Free  Public  Libraries...  49 

The  Christian  Calendar  in  Common  Use  Is  Not  Correct 50 

There  Is  No  Such  Place  as  Klondike  51 

Eskimo  Religion   52 

Religion  of  Mohammed — Was  Mohammed  the  Founder? 53 

Jews  Did  Not  Crucify  Jesus  55 

Buddha  Was  Not  an  Idol 55 

Mormon  Is  Not  a  Religion  56 

Brigham  Young  Was  the  Greatest  Colonizer 56 

Days  of  Weeks  and  Months  Have  Pagan  Names 57 

Illegal   Marriages   57 

Dr.  Osier  Did  Not  Make  the  Statement  that  Men  Should  Be 

Chloroformed  at  the  Age  of  Sixty 57 

Anthony  Trollope   59 

The  Apocrypha  60 

Meaning  of  the  Word  Orthodox  61 

Meaning  of  the  Word  Bible  61 

A  Martyr 62 

King  James*  Version  of  the  Holy  Bible  Is  Not  Complete 62 

Varying  Meanings  of  the  Word  Catholic 62 

Religion  and  Christianity  Are  Not  Always  the  Same 62 

The  Word  Democracy  Does  Not  Mean  Freedom 63 

Candidate  Does  Not  Mean  Politician 63 

Lawbreakers   63 

Law  Does  Not  Excuse  Ignorance — There  Is  No  Such  Code 63 

Errors  in  Dictionaries  64 

It  Was  Not  a  Whale  That  Swallowed  Jonah 64 

Compass  Does  Not  Point  North 64 

Native  Red  Men  of  United  States  Are  Not  Indians 64 

Sitting  Bull  Was  Not  an  Indian  Chief 65 

Stefansson  Is  Not  the  Real  Discoverer  of  the  Blonde  Eskimo....  65 

Ingersoll  Was  Not  an  Infidel  65 

Christopher  Columbus  Did  Not  Discover  America 66 

Howe  Did  Not  Invent  a  Sewing  Machine 66 

Superstitions  in  Regard  to  Weather 67 

Sensational  Hold-up  Fallacies  67 

There  Are  No  Mogul  Engines  In  Practical  Use 68 

Chiffonier  Is  Not  Necessarily  an  Article  of  Furniture 69 

Hogshead  Is  Not  a  Large  Barrel 69 

Lead  Pencils  Are  Not  Lead  Pencils 70 

Diamonds  Are  Not  Indestructible  70 

Steam  Is  Not  Steam  71 

Cinderella's  Slippers  71 

Car  of  Juggernaut  71 

Snakes  In  Ireland  72 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS  (Continued) 

Page 

The  Heart  Is  Not  on  the  Left  Side 73 

We  Do  Weigh  More  After  Eating  73 

A  Woman  Does  Not  Have  More  Ribs  Than  a  Man 74 

A  Person  Is  Taller  in  the  Morning 74 

Result  of  Bathing  When  Warm  74 

Truth  About  Falling  75 

Cats  Do  Not  Suck  Babies'  Breath  75 

Teeth  Do  Not  Bleed  : 76 

There  Is  No  Death  Agony  76 

Animals'  Teeth  Are  Not  Poisonous 76 

Quinine  Is  an  Antidote  for  Whiskey  76 

Fish  Is  Not  a  Brain  Food  76 

Dried  Codfish  Is  Not  Codfish  77 

Salt  Is  Not  Salt  at  All 77 

Pepsin  Is  Not  a  Flavor  77 

Ham  Is  Not  Ham  at  All  78 

Sweet  Oil  Is  Not  Sweet  Oil  78 

There  Are  No  Sweet  Potatoes  78 

Irish  Potatoes  Are  Not  Irish  Potatoes 78 

Opium  Is  Not  a  Product  of  China 79 

Opium  Does  Not  Produce  Sleep  80 

Knighted   Beef  82 

About  the  Word  and  Place  Hell 82 

Popular  Beliefs   83 

What  Are  Fallacies  84 

Odd  Facts  Gleaned  from  Many  Sources  84 

Popular  Historical  Incidents  That  Never  Happened 87 

Popular  Quotations  Falsely  Attributed  to  the  Holy  Bible 87 

The  Holy  Black  Bottle  88 


THE   FERRET 

INTRODUCTION 

This  book  bears  the  title  of  "Ferret."  The  meaning 
of  the  word  is — well,  look  it  up.  It  may  get  you  into 
the  habit  of  research,  which  is  the  foundation  of  a 
good  education. 

You  may  find  many  a  teacher  or  critic  who  will 
attempt  to  explain  the  articles  appearing  in  this  book 
according  to  their  theory  and  belief  (superstition), 
which  may  be  in  contradiction  to  what  is  here,  but 
unless  they  can  furnish  you  authentic  facts  without 
political  or  religious  partiality  they  are  trying  to  keep 
honest  thought  from  being  expressed,  and  are  an  ob- 
struction and  hindrance  to  civilization  and  education. 

You  may  wonder  at  some  of  the  statements  which 
this  book  contains,  but  not  having  received  a  public 
school  education,  my  knowledge  has  been  obtained 
through  investigation,  inquiry  and  research.  Books 
of  authority  have  been  my  counsel,  and  not  opinions, 
pretensions  or  mistranslations;  therefore,  I  find  thou- 
sands of  things  in  the  common  education  that  are  not 
real. 

So  in  this  work,  I  am  leaving  many  missing  links 
for  you  to  connect.  It  is  possible  through  research 
for  you  to  do  this,  and  perhaps  in  so  doing  you  may 
obtain  much  knowledge  which  has  never  been  taught 
to  you,  either  in  school  or  out. 

Who  is  so  satisfied  with  his  own  knowledge  that  to 
him  it  is  a  waste  of  time  to  search  further  for  wis- 
dom? 

Our  aim  is  to  draw  your  attention  to  just  a  few 
of  the  thousands  of  mistakes  permitted  in  the  public 
schools,   which   are   taught   our   coming   generations 


10  .....     THE  FERRET 

through  ignorant  newspaper  reporters  and  by  care- 
less parents.  As  the  first  example  of  mistakes  of  this 
kind,  we  will  ask  you  to  notice  the  title  page  of  the 
dictionary.  Seventy-five  per  cent,  of  the  public  say 
"Daniel  Webster's  Dictionary."  This  renowned  man 
never  wrote  a  dictionary,  nor  had  anything  to  do 
with  compiling  one.  History  tells  us  that  he  was  a 
statesman  and  an  orator;  the  dictionary  states  that 
the  author  of  the  book  was  Noah  Webster,  the  man 
who  laid  the  foundation  for  the  American  language, 
which  is  the  most  powerful  and  universal  language 
of  the  earth — not  English,  but  American,  for  there 
are  only  twenty-five  per  cent,  of  American  words  that 
owe  their  origin  to  the  Anglo-Saxon.  Inasmuch  as 
Noah  was  a  less  prominent  man  than  Daniel,  the 
latter  is  often  given  credit  for  writing  the  dictionary 
by  those  who  never  investigate,  but  take  for  granted 
what  they  are  told.  Although  it  is  often  quoted, 
"Where  ignorance  is  bliss  'tis  folly  to  be  wise" ;  better 
say,  only  the  wise  seek  wisdom.  For  that  reason 
please  do  not  take  for  granted  anything  in  this  book. 
Unless  you  know  it  to  be  a  fact,  take  the  pains  to 
look  it  up.  It  can  be  found  in  various  books  of  knowl- 
edge, for  belief  is  superstition  and  knowledge  is  a 
fact ;  what  you  know  you  know,  and  what  you  believe 
you  only  think  you  know.  So  woe  unto  the  man  who 
attempts  to  teach  what  he  thinks  to  a  man  who  knows 
better. 


MEN  WHO  THINK  ADVANCE  THE  WORLD 
As  you  read  this  book,  study,  research  and  think, 

for  men  who  think  advance  the  world,  but  men  who 

do  not  think  follow  the  crowd. 
This  book  is  furnished  you  incomplete.     If  it  is 


THE  FERRET  11 

your  pleasure,  complete  it,  but  in  so  doing  do  not 
accept  theories,  opinions,  beliefs,  superstition,  or  ex- 
planation from  ignorance  garbed  with  authority. 


MISINFORMATION 
It  appears  that  when  the  public  once  becomes  pos- 
sessed of  a  bit  of  misinformation  it  clings  thereto 
with  curious  persistency,  no  matter  upon  what  good 
authority  the  mistake  may  be  pointed  out.  If  we 
institute  an  inquiry  along  any  particular  line  we  very 
soon  discover  that  our  authorities  are  uprooting  and 
utterly  doing  to  death  some  of  our  fondest  little  be- 
liefs. We  find  not  only  that  we  have  believed  de- 
cidedly in  the  wrong,  through  misinformation,  or  lack 
of  information,  but  that  we  have  been  positively  and 
often  assertively  wrong,  having  taken  our  firm  stand 
on  what  later  develops  to  be  absolutely  misinforma- 
tion. This  holds  true  with  reference  to  things  ani- 
mate and  inanimate,  past  and  present. 


AMERICANS  DO  NOT  SPEAK  ENGLISH 
One  of  the  strangest  things  of  today  is  our  per- 
sistence in  applying  the  names  of  the  classical  past 
to  the  whims  and  fancies  of  our  own  times.  Take, 
for  instance,  the  language  in  which  we  Americans 
clothe  our  daily  thought.  Isn't  it  commonly  supposed 
that  we  speak  the  English  language — the  language  of 
the  inhabitants  of  Great  Britain,  which  was  brought 
into  Britannia  by  the  Angles  and  Saxons,  two  of  the 
Teutonic  tribes  which  early  invaded  that  island  and 
from  which  the  names  England  and  English  are  de- 
rived? Isn't  it  commonly  understood  that  an  Amer- 
ican of  the  State  of  California  could  engage  in  con- 
versation with  an  Englishman  of  the  British  County 


12  THE  FERRET 

of  Kent?  However,  it  is  a  fact  that,  first,  neither 
our  conversational  nor  our  written  language  bears 
the  slightest  resemblance  to  the  English  language  as 
spoken,  even  in  the  Mid- Victorian  era.  Second,  our 
American  language — for  it  is  almost  distinctly  Amer- 
ican— being  an  admixture  of  our  own  unexcelled  slang 
and  the  jargon  of  immigrants  representing  every 
tribe  and  nation  of  mankind,  is  practically  quite  un- 
intelligible today  to  the  native  of  Kent.  Therefore, 
it  will  be  seen  that  we  Americans  do  not  speak  Eng- 
lish, even  while  the  writer  must  admit  that,  we  use, 
perhaps,  twenty-five  per  cent,  of  English  words,  so 
why  call  our  language  English  ?  Why  not  give  Amer- 
ica credit  for  what  rightfully  belongs  to  her? 

In  proof,  consider  the  following  portion  of  a  page 
in  strict  English,  from  the  gospel  of  St.  Mark,  as  it 
appeared  in  earlier  English,  before  the  inhabitants 
of  Great  Britain  had  learned  to  speak  the  language 
we  now  use: 

"THAET  GOSPEL 
AEFTER  MARCUS  GERECEDNYSSE. 

1.  Her  ye  Godspellye  angyn  Haelendes  Cristes, 
Godes  Suna;  ewa  awriten  ys  on  thaes  witegan  bee 
Isaian,  Nu  ic  asende  minne  engel  beforan  thine 
aneyne,  se  gegearwath  thinne  weg  beforan  the.  Cly- 
piende  stefn  on  tham  westene,  Gegearwiath  Dryhtnes 
weg,  doth  rihte  his  sithas.  Johannes  waes  on  westene, 
fuUigende,  and  bodiende  daed-bote  fulwiht,  on  synna 
forgyfenesee.  And  to  hym  ferde  eall  ludeics  rice, 
and  ealle  Hierosolima-ware,  and  waeron  fram  hym 
gefullode  on  lordanes  flode,  hyra  synna  anddettende. 
And  Ichannes  waes  gescryd  mid  oluendes  haerum,  and 
fellen  gyrdel  waes  ymbe  hys  lendenu,  and  gaerstapan 
and  wudu-hunig  he  aet;  and  he  bodode,  and  cwaeth; 


THE  FERRET  13 

Strengra  cymth  aefter  me,  thaes  ne  eom  in  wyrthe 
thaet  ic  hys  sceona  thwanga  bugende  uncnytte.  Ic 
fullige  eow  on  waetere;  he  eow  fuUath  on  Halgum 
Gaste.  And  on  than  dagum  com  se  Haslend  fram 
Nazareth  Galilee,  and  waes  gefullod  on  lordane  fram 
lohanne.  And  sona  of  tham  waetere,  he  geseah  opene 
heofenas,  and  Haligne  Gast  swa  culfran  astigende, 
and  on  hym  wunigende;  and  tha  waes  stefn  of  heo- 
fenum  geworden;" 

Then  why  say  we  speak  English? 
Even  the  language  of  Chaucer,  the  father  of  Eng- 
lish poetry,  must  be  translated  into  the  American 
language  before  it  becomes  intelligible  to  the  students 
in  our  educational  institutions.  Following  is  an  ex- 
tract from  Chaucer's  "Prologues  to  the  Canterbury 
Tales" : 

"Here  Beginneth  the  Book  of  the  Tales  of  Caunter- 
bury: 

WHAN  that  Aprille  with  his  shoures  sote 
The  droghte  of  Marche  hath  perced  to  the  rote. 
And  bathed  every  veyne  in  swich  licour, 
Of  which  vertu  engendred  is  the  flour; 
Whan  Zephirus  eek  with  his  swete  breeth 
Inspired  hath  in  every  holt  and  heeth 
The  tendre  croppes,  and  the  yonge  sonne 
Hath  in  the  Ram  his  halfe  cours  y-ronne. 
And  smale  fowles  maken  meloyde, 
That  slepen  al  the  night  with  open  ye, 
(So  priketh  hem  nature  in  hir  corages) : 
Than  longen  folk  to  goon  on  pilgrimages 
(And  palmers  for  to  seken  straunge  Strondes) 
To  feme  halwes,  couthe  in  sondry  londes; 
And  specially,  from  every  shires  ende 
Of  Engelond,  to  Caunterbury  they  wende. 


14  THE  FERREt 

The  holy  blisf ul  martir  for  to  seke, 
That  hem  hath  holpen,  whan  that  they  were  seke." 
Below  is  a  free  translation  into  American  of  this 
prologue : 

CHAUCER'S  CANTERBURY  PILGRIMS 

Retold  by  Katharine  Lee  Bates 

THE  TABARD  INN  AND  THE  PILGRIMS 

When  the  sweet  showers  from  skies  of  April  blue 

The   drought   of   March   have   pierced    through    and 

through 
And  bathed  each  vein  in  sap  whose  silent  power 
Quickens  the  bud  and  nourishes  the  flower. 
When  the  soft  west  wind  with  his  fragrant  breath 
Awakened  hath  in  every  wood  and  heath 
The  tender  shoots  and  when  the  blithe  young  sun 
His  summer  course  through  heaven  hath  well  begun, 
And  little  birds  scarce  wait  till  night  is  gone 
To  hail  with  melody  the  springing  dawn, — 
For  so  the  joy  of  nature  pricks  the  heart, — 
Then  people  long  from  houses  to  depart 
And  go  a- journeying  for  love  of  God 
To  far-off  shrines  whose  fame  is  noised  abroad, 
And  specially  from  every  county's  end 
Of  England  men  to  Canterbury  wend 
The  holy  blissful  Martyr  to  adore 
Whose  help  has  healed  them  of  the  ills  they  bore. 


DEFINITIONS  OF  AMERICAN  WORDS 
Definitions  of  even  the  most  common  American 
words  will  be  found  to  be  replete  with  interesting 
and  often  most  surprising  information.  Many  a  man 
who  has  decided  to  study  the  derivation  and  mean- 
ing of  words  has  found  that  he  was  really  providing 
himself  with  a  new  source  of  recreation  and  pleasure. 


THE  FERRET  15 

that  opened  endless  vistas  of  divertisement,  no  less 
than  boundless  fields  of  knowledge.  What  he  set 
himself  as  a  task  became  presently  an  alluring  avoca- 
tion. 

The  wisdom  of  the  old  Greek  who  declared  "there 
is  no  royal  road  to  learning"  has  often  been  ap- 
plauded, but  this  famous  aphorism  may  be  challenged 
by  the  man  who  has  acquired  the  habit  of  turning 
habitually  to  his  books  of  learning  for  his  education, 
rather  than  depending  upon  receiving  his  information 
by  word  of  mouth — for  this  source  more  than  half 
the  time  is  not  dependable.  After  all,  authority  on 
education  is  vested  in  books  of  learning,  not  in  one's 
grandmother,  or  friend,  or  newspapers. 


PITFALLS  IN  SPELLING 
Largely  because  of  its  conglomerate  origin,  Amer- 
ican is  the  language  which  of  all  others  seems  to 
have  neither  rhyme  nor  reason  in  the  spelling  and 
the  pronunciation  of  its  words.  Who  attempts  to 
write  an  ordinary  letter  without  coming  upon  familiar 
words,  the  spelling  of  which  makes  one  pause?  Does 
the  "e"  come  before  the  "i"  or  after  it  in  "receive"? 
And  what  of  grieve,  deceive,  achieve,  conceive,  and 
believe;  and  why  not  "heive"  for  heave,  or  "lieve" 
for  leave  ?  Are  there  two  "m's"  or  only  one  in  recom- 
mend? And  how  many  "s's"  in  assassinated?  And 
so  of  hundreds  of  other  familiar  words.  How  many 
words  can  you  find  with  "q"  and  not  "u"  immediately 
afterwards?  Can  you  tell?  And  if  these  two  letters 
must  be  together  why  not  make  one  letter  of  it? 

Consider,  too — the  endless  pitfalls  in  the  number- 
Jess  groups  of  words  having  the  same  sound  but  dif- 
ferent spellings  and  meanings, — such  groups,  for  ex- 


16  THE  FERRET 


ample,  as  peak,  peek,  pique;  and  pear,  pare  and  pair; 
fair,  and  fare  (with  four  distinct  meanings) ;  peer, 
and  pier ;  rain,  rein,  reign,  and  rhein ;  take  the  follow- 
ing sentence:  "Mr.  Wryght  the  wheelwright  did  not 
write  the  church  rite  right."  One  knows  the  spelling, 
of  course,  but  when  the  brain  is  just  a  little  fagged, 
it  is  not  always  easy  to  remember.  Everyone  knows 
that  good  spelling  is  necessary  in  commercial  work. 
Then  why  not  learn  to  spell  in  school? 

There  are  a  great  many  words  that  end  in  "able" 
or  "ible."  "Inequitable"  is  one  example,  "convertible" 
is  another.  Only  a  stenographer  with  a  natural  gift 
for  orthography  can  be  sure  when  to  use  an  "a,"  or 
when  "i"  is  correct.  No  matter  how  good  a  training 
one  receives  in  school,  unless  one  is  taught  correct 
spelling  of  the  American  language  he  is  of  but  little 
practical  use  as  a  stenographer. 


EMERSON,  THE  WEAVER  OF  WORDS 
Ralph  Waldo  Emerson,  one  of  our  great  American 
poets,  was  a  wonderful  weaver — he  wove  new  and 
rich  words  into  sentences,  sentences  brilliant  and 
polished  and  full  of  the  wisdom  for  w^hich  he  was  so 
famous!  And  these  sentences  he  gathered  and  treas- 
ured up  until  he  wove  them  into  his  essays  and  his 
lectures.  He  had  a  relish  for  strange  words  and  like 
many  great  writers  he  made  up  many  new  words  or 
revived  ancient  ones  to  fill  his  needs  of  expression. 
He  did  not  hesitate  to  say  "analogize"  and  "gigantize" 
and  "anthropometer" ;  and  words  like  "plenipotence," 
"pudency,"  "recentness"  and  "otherest"  are  a  few 
words  which  contributed  to  make  his  diction,  as 
Lowell  said,  "rich  and  homely,  like  homespun  cloth- 
of-gold." 


THE  FERRET  17 

Yet  he  was  an  American,  and  helped  to  make  the 
American  language. 


ERRONEOUS  PRONUNCIATION 

Read  the  following  paragraph  aloud: 

Fortunately  one  does  not  need  to  pronounce  words 
while  one  writes  them,  nor  even  in  ordinary  reading. 
But  did  you  ever  find  yourself  suddenly  called  upon 
to  read  aloud  before  some  critically  inclined  person? 
The  article  may  be  ever  so  simple,  yet  there  are  pit- 
falls lurking  in  the  commonest  words.  You  cast  a 
rapid  eye  ahead  and  immediately  strike  a  few  rocks. 
No  time  to  decide  which  pronunciation  to  choose — 
so  you  plunge  in,  accenting  address,  adult,  alternate, 
condolence,  comparable,  grimace,  testator,  adept  and 
acclimate,  on  the  first  syllable,  when  your  critical 
American  listener  knows  that  you  should  stress  the 
second;  accenting  the  second  syllable  of  construe, 
lamentable,  harass,  hospitals  and  decade,  when  the 
correct  pronunciation  of  every  one  of  them,  as  you 
learn  from  the  dictionary,  calls  for  the  accent  on  the 
first  syllable.  These  are  things  that  you  do  not  learn 
in  school  without  special  request  or  as  an  advanced 
scholar. 

How  many  did  you  pronounce  correctly? 

It  is  not  a  pleasant  experience,  for  uncertainty  is 
never  a  comfortable  feeling.  And  if  your  choice  of 
pronunciation  is  challenged,  and  you  can  only  say 
you*re  not  sure  just  how  the  word  should  be  spoken, 
do  you  not  fall  a  little  in  your  own  esteem — do  you 
not  feel  that  you  failed  to  meet  a  situation?  You 
may  be  ever  so  well-read,  familiar  with  a  large  num- 
ber of  words,  but  if  when  you  speak  you  cannot  pro- 
nounce such  words  as  those  cited  above  with  any 


18  THE  FERRET 

degree  of  certainty,  who  can  credit  your  background 
of  knowledge? 

Correct  pronunciation  is  not  only  a  matter  of  ac- 
centing the  right  syllables — it  includes  the  distinct 
enunciation  of  all  letters.  Richard  Grant  White  said: 
"It  is  in  the  delicate  but  firm  utterance  of  the  un- 
accented vowels  with  correct  sounds  that  the  cultured 
person  is  most  surely  distinguished  from  the  uncul- 
tured." 

You  may  be  acquainted  with  all  their  contents  and 
secrets,  but  if  you  say  "libr'y"  and  "government"  and 
drop  your  "g's"  from  "ing"  endings,  you  will  put 
yourself  quite  unmistakably  outside  the  lines  of  true 
culture. 

"The  consonant,"  said  Richard  Grant  White,  "is  the 
distinguishing  element  of  human  speech.  Man  has 
been  defined  in  various  ways,  according  to  various 
attributes,  functions  and  habits.  He  might  well  be 
called  the  consonant-using  animal.  He  alone  of  all 
animals  uses  consonants.  It  is  the  consonant  which 
makes  the  chief  difference  between  the  cries  of  beasts 
and  the  speech  of  man." 

There  are  also  a  certain  number  of  words  which 
may  be  pronounced  in  two  ways.  Although  it  is 
always  best  to  adopt  the  one  preferred  by  such  high 
authority  as  the  dictionary  or  encyclopedia,  still  you 
may  want  to  justify  yourself  if  perhaps  your  choice 
is  questioned.  Tell  the  one  who  seems  so  sure  he 
has  the  only  correct  pronunciation  that  contemplate, 
coruscate,  costume,  decorous,  disputable,  and  diversely 
may  be  accented  on  either  the  first  or  second  syllables. 
If  you  stressed  the  second  syllable,  then  add  that  that 
is  the  preference  given  by  the  best  authority. 


THE  FERRET  19 

SIGNIFICANCE  OF  WORDS 
Then  again  the  American  language  when  properly 
pronounced  teaches  one  to  appreciate  the  fine  shades 
of  meaning  which  mark  the  works  of  the  great 
writers.  To  enjoy  fully  the  mere  ''swing"  of  the  best 
prose  may  require  some  natural  gift,  like  the  inborn 
taste  for  poetry  or  music  or  pictures.  When  you  can 
do  this,  you  can  get  closer  to  the  writer's  idea,  and 
penetrate  further  into  his  personality,  just  as  with 
a  magnifying  glass  you  can  discover  new  beauties  in 
the  structure  of  a  flower.  This  does  not  mean  that 
passage  you  are  investigating  was  at  first  sight  mean- 
ingless— nor  even  obscure;  nor  that  it  contains  a 
single  word  that  was  altogether  new  to  you.  It  means 
that  in  addition  to  its  obvious  meaning  it  has  a 
further  and  deeper  significance  which  the  ordinary 
reader  would  altogether  miss  and  which  he  never 
would  be  able  to  perceive  until  he  ferreted  out  the 
various  meanings  of  different  words. 


DRAWING  CONTRACTS 
For  example,  in  drawing  contracts  it  requires  good 
usage  of  our  language  and  good  comprehension  of 
that  same  language  to  give  certainty  of  one's  bear- 
ings. Suppose  a  man  should  be  employed  to  collect 
rents  and  be  allowed,  as  many  contracts  read,  *'ten 
per  cent,  remittance."  If  he  were  to  collect  one  hun- 
dred dollars,  your  first  thought  would  be  that  he 
should  retain  ten  dollars.  But  if  he  retained  ten  dol- 
lars he  could  send  his  employer  only  ninety  dollars. 
Therefore  his  "remittance"  would  amount  to  only 
nine  dollars,  an  illustration  of  the  value  of  these  two 
words,  "remit"  and  "retain."  If  you  do  not  yet  see 
their  value,  ferret  it  out!     We  will  not  selfishly  de- 


20  THE  FERRET 

prive  you  of  the  pleasure.  There  are  hundreds  of 
other  words  of  even  more  importance  that  are  apt 
to  be  misunderstood  for  want  of  close  observation. 


INFORMATION  FROM  AUTHENTIC  SOURCES 
Don't  expect  to  find  authority  on  these  matters  in 
your  small  family  dictionary,  for  in  many  cases  it  is 
not  correct.  It  may  have  been  compiled  by  someone 
who  is  of  a  biased  opinion.  Better  to  use  some  of 
the  large,  well-known  encyclopedias  and  dictionaries, 
and  foreign  histories  on  matters  pertaining  to  foreign 
countries. 

For  instance,  in  your  family  dictionary  you  might 
find  the  statement  that  a  Jew  is  an  infidel,  while  in 
any  large  encyclopedia  you  will  find  that,  as  well  as 
many  similar  statements,  contradicted. 


BENJAMIN  FRANKLIN'S  VIEWS  ON  EDUCATION 
Benjamin  Franklin,  writing  to  a  lady  who  asked 
him  to  give  her  advice  about  writing,  said: 

"I  would  advise  you  to  read  with  a  pen  in  your 
hand,  and  enter  in  a  little  book  short  hints  of  what 
you  find  that  is  curious  or  that  may  be  useful — and 
as  many  of  the  terms  of  science  are  such  as  you  can- 
not have  met  with  in  your  common  reading,  and  may 
therefore  be  unacquainted  with,  I  think  it  would  be 
well  for  you  to  have  a  good  dictionary  at  hand  to 
consult  immediately  when  you  meet  a  word  you  do 
not  know  the  precise  meaning  of.  This  may  at  first 
seem  troublesome  and  interrupting,  but  it  is  a  trouble 
that  will  daily  diminish,  and  you  will  daily  find  less 
and  less  occasion  for  your  dictionary,  as  you  will  be- 
come more  acquainted  with  the  terms;  and  in  the 


THE  FERRET  21 

meantime  you  will  read  with  more  satisfaction  be- 
cause with  more  understanding." 

Place  an  encyclopedia  or  dictionary  in  the  hands  of 
your  boys  and  girls;  have  them  take  John  Ruskin*s 
advice,  and  look  at  words,  '^intensely,"  and  counsel 
them  to  acquire  the  dictionary  habit;  then  you  have 
given  them  what  may  confidently  be  regarded  as  more 
than  the  equivalent  of  a  monetary  legacy — and  some- 
thing they  cannot  acquire  even  in  a  college  course 


NICETIES  OF  CORRECT  ACCENT 
Is  the  accent  on  the  first  or  on  the  second  syllable 
of  precedence?  And  what  about  precedent?  Is  the 
"a"  long  or  short  in  national?  And  what  about  ra- 
tional? One  can  name  at  random  a  score  of  common 
words  beginning  with  the  first  letter  of  the  alphabet 
that  offer  pronunciation  puzzles;  for  example,  access, 
accursed,  acoustic,  advertisement,  aeroplane,  aeronaut, 
again,  aggrandizement,  almond.  Albino,  amateur,  ally, 
annex,  apparent,  apricot,  Appalachian,  arbutus,  art- 
izen,  Aryan,  aspirant,  asthma,  aristocrat. 

It  makes  one  feel  foolish  when  reading  to  be 
obliged  to  hesitate  over  such  words,  even  more  foolish 
to  feel  that  one  has  mispronounced  them,  and  of 
course  what  applies  to  reading  applies  equally  to  our 
ordinary  conversation,  except  that  here  we  may  pick 
and  choose  our  words.  But  is  it  not  a  little  humiliat- 
ing to  find  ourselves  avoiding  this  word  or  that  be- 
cause we  are  not  quite  sure  how  to  pronounce  it? 
On  the  other  hand,  is  there  not  an  element  of  honest 
satisfaction  in  feeling  that  you  have  challenged  the 
word  and  looked  it  up  in  a  dictionary,  encyclopedia 
or  some  other  book  of  authority,  and  do  not  have  to 
go  on  mispronouncing  the  word  your  entire  life,  be- 


22  THE  FERRET 

cause  you  happened  to  learn  the  wrong  pronunciation 
when  you  were  a  child?  So,  when  you  are  not  sure, 
investigate,  through  reliable  written  authority — ^be- 
come a  "ferret."  If  you  wanted  to  get  rich  you  would 
not  ask  a  beggar  how  to  accomplish  it;  if  you  wanted 
to  become  a  baker  you  would  not  ask  a  blacksmith  to 
teach  you  the  trade;  if  you  wanted  to  make  a  success 
in  business  you  would  not  ask  advice  from  a  man  who 
had  gone  into  bankruptcy.  So,  if  you  want  authority, 
do  not  ask  a  professor  who  will  give  you  only  his 
own  opinion,  but  look  it  up  yourself. 


THE  SCIENCE  OF  SPEECH 

Read  thoughtfully  the  following  passage  quoted 
from  Bernard  Shaw: 

**How  do  you  do  it,  if  I  may  ask?"  inquired  a  gen- 
tleman. 

**Simply  phonetics,"  replied  Professor  Higgins,  "the 
science  of  speech.  That's  my  profession;  also  my 
hobby.  Happy  is  the  man  who  can  make  a  living  by 
his  hobby!  You  can  spot  an  Irishman  or  a  York- 
shireman  by  his  brogue.  I  can  place  any  man  within 
six  miles.  I  can  place  him  within  two  miles  in  Lon- 
don.   Sometimes  within  two  streets." 

"But  is  there  a  living  in  that?" 

"Oh,  yes.  Quite  a  fat  one.  This  is  an  age  of  up- 
starts." 

And  the  story  of  how  he  actually  did  take  a  poor 
flower  girl  who  had  a  dialect  incomprehensible  to  the 
educated  ear,  and  every  conceivable  vulgarity  of 
speech,  and  successfully  passed  her  off  as  a  countess 
at  a  garden-party  six  months  later — that  is  the  story 
of  Pygmalion,  by  Bernard  Shaw. 

The  lesson  which  Bernard  Shaw  drives  home  in  the 


THE  FERRET  23 

above  is  that  there  is  nothing  which  defines  any  one's 
position  in  the  world  quite  so  unmistakably  as  speech 
— his  pronunciation,  his  accent,  and  his  choice  of 
words.  It  is  his  speech  which  immediately  places  him 
in  the  class  to  which  he  truly  belongs;  it  is  the  dif- 
ference in  speech  which  separates  one  stratum  of 
society  from  another. 

In  his  preface  Shaw  says:  "Finally  and  for  the 
encouragement  of  people  troubled  with  accents  that 
cut  them  off  from  all  high  employment,  I  may  add 
that  the  change  wrought  by  Professor  Higgins  is 
neither  impossible  nor  uncommon. 

"The  modern  concierge's  daughter,  who  fulfils  her 
ambition  by  playing  the  Queen  of  Spain,  in  *Ruy  Bias,* 
at  the  Theatre  Francais,  is  only  one  of  the  many 
thousands  of  men  and  women  who  have  sloughed  off 
their  native  dialects  and  acquired  a  new  tongue,"  and 
the  English,  for  example,  have  to  do  this  when  they 
come  to  this  country  before  their  language  escapes 
ridicule  from  the  American  listener. 

One  does  not  ordinarily  think  of  a  dictionary  as 
a  book  to  read.  And  an  ordinary  dictionary  would, 
in  point  of  fact,  afford  scant  opportunity  for  con- 
secutive reading.  But,  on  the  other  hand,  he  must 
have  a  very  barren  and  unresponsive  mind  indeed 
who  could  read  any  single  page  of  approximately  a 
10,000  page  dictionary,  or  any  other  good  book  of  its 
kind,  without  receiving  an  education  in  itself  far  in 
excess  of  any  he  could  receive  in  a  public  school,  with- 
out having  his  attention  challenged  again  and  again, 
and  his  interest  keenly  aroused  and  directed  into  un- 
expected channels.  Every  page  gives  delightful 
glimpses  into  aspects  of  human  life  so  wide  and  so 
varied  as  to  command  the  attention  of  minds  of  the 


24  THE  FERRET 

most  diverse  types ;  and  there  is  probably  not  a  single 
page  that  does  not  contain  some  statement  of  fact, 
touching  on  a  matter  of  human  interest,  that  will  not 
be  new  or  unfamiliar  to  the  reader,  no  matter  how 
extensive  may  have  been  his  education  or  how  pro- 
found his  knowledge. 

It  may  be  urged  that  one  does  not  ordinarily  buy 
a  dictionary  with  the  expectation  of  reading  it  in  any 
such  random  way  as  that  just  suggested.  Neverthe- 
less it  is  true  that  any  number  of  idle  hours  might 
be  pleasantly  and  profitably  passed  in  just  such  ran- 
dom reading,  because  it  is  an  education  to  anyone. 
We  hear  a  great  deal  from  educators  as  to  what 
might  be  accomplished  in  the  way  of  self -betterment 
by  half  an  hour  a  day  devoted  to  some  special  line 
of  reading.  It  may  safely  be  affirmed  that  no  book 
or  collection  of  books  could  be  selected  for  such  half- 
hour  reading  that  would  give  one  a  wider  range  of 
self-culture  than  would  attend  the  readings  of  the 
dictionary  or  foreign  histories,  merely  for  the  sake 
of  reading. 

Doubtless  this  sounds  a  little  paradoxical;  but  the 
paradox  vanishes  when  we  reflect  that  words  are  the 
symbols  of  thought;  that  the  history  of  words  is  in 
a  comprehensive  sense  the  history  of  human  prog- 
ress; that  words  can  be  understood  only  when  inter- 
preted in  connection  with  the  ideas  and  things  asso- 
ciated with  them;  and  that  the  dictionary  thus  ex- 
plains and  illustrates  every  word  in  our  language, — 
revealing  its  derivation,  naming  the  corresponding  or 
associated  words  in  other  languages,  showing  through 
quotations  the  nicest  shades  of  meanings,  giving  its 
synonyms   and   antonyms,   and   its   implications   and 


THE  FERRET  25 

remoter  bearing,  besides  the  essential  facts  and  ideas 
for  which  our  American  language  stands. 

Thus  presented  and  interpreted,  even  familiar  words 
reveal  elements  of  unexpected  and  compelling  interest 
for  the  most  casual  reader. 


CHOICE  AND  CONTRAST  OF  WORDS 
Robert  Louis  Stevenson  said:  **The  first  merit 
which  attracts  in  the  pages  of  a  good  writer,  or  the 
talk  of  a  brilliant  conversationalist,  is  the  apt  choice 
and  contrast  of  the  words  employed."  How  true  this 
is  of  his  own  writings!  The  **apt  choice  and  contrast 
of  the  words"  is  surely  one  of  Stevenson's  greatest 
charms.  Whether  describing  the  bleak  heather  lands 
of  Scotland,  or  the  riotous  scenery  of  the  South  Sea 
Islands;  whether  discoursing  on  the  requirements  for 
an  ideal  house,  or  the  pleasure  in  the  companionship 
of  books,  he  chooses  his  terms  so  that  we  see  with 
his  eyes,  we  feel  as  he  wishes  us  to  feel,  and  how 
great  is  the  art  which  thus  selects  and  combines  the 
right  words!  He  himself  says:  "The  difficulty  of 
literature  is  not  to  write,  but  to  write  what  you  mean ; 
not  to  affect  your  reader,  but  to  affect  him  precisely 
as  you  wish." 

For  another  proof  that  we  do  not  speak  English, 
we  will  take  the  common  word  "father"  as  we  pro- 
nounce it.  This  will  be  a  good  example  to  illustrate 
how  a  definition  in  our  language  is  made,  and  why 
words  are  things  of  life. 

Everyone  knows  the  first  meaning  of  the  word 
father.  Small  dictionaries  content  themselves  with  a 
simple  definition,  such  as  "male  parent  or  ancestor." 
Through  research  the  word  may  be  traced  way  back 
to  the  beginning  of  the  language  of  mankind.    Isn't 


26  THE  FERRET 

it  interesting  to  know  the  forms  of  this  word  in  other 
days  and  other  languages?  We  find  that  it  used  to 
be  "fader"  in  Anglo-Saxon  and  English.  The  "th" 
which  took  the  place  of  "d"  is  a  modern  form — it 
may  be  to  conform  with  Anglo-Saxon  "brother,"  or 
with  the  Icelandic  forms  "fadhir"  and  "modhir."  Al- 
though "fader"  was  the  most  general  term  in  Eng- 
lish, there  were  also  variations  in  spelling,  such  as 
"fadir,"  "feder,"  "faeder." 

So  much  for  the  origin  of  the  word.  Now  comes 
the  task  of  listing  the  different  meanings  of  "father" 
and  of  finding  appropriate  quotations  to  illustrate 
these  meanings.  Consultation  of  all  early  and  con- 
temporary dictionaries  for  their  various  definitions 
of  the  word,  and  searching  through  ancient,  mediaeval 
and  modern  literature,  satisfies  Us  that  no  application 
has  escaped  our  quest.  Would  it  have  occurred  to 
you  that  there  could  be  more  than  two  or  three  mean- 
ings of  the  word?    Here  are  our  findings: 

First  comes  the  primary  definition,  which  is  simply : 
"He  who  begets  a  child;  the  nearest  male  ancestor; 
a  male  parent,  so-called  in  relation  to  the  child."  This 
being  the  commonest  use  of  the  word  in  the  Amer- 
ican language,  we  have  no  difficulty  in  getting  satis- 
factory quotations,  beginning  with  "Now  by  my  fader 
soule  that  is  dead,"  from  Chaucer,  and  ending  with 
"A  wise  son  maketh  a  glad  father,"  from  Proverbs. 

However,  "father"  was  the  title  of  senators  in 
ancient  Rome;  there  are  "conscript  fathers,"  the 
"Father  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,"  and  many 
other  such  "fathers"  that  one  may  best  learn  of 
through  research  and  study. 


THE  FERRET  27 

WORDS  ADOPTED  FROM  OTHER  LANGUAGES 
During  the  16th  and  17th  centuries  the  influence 
of  politics  and  commerce  through  trade,  wars  and 
colonization,  caused  the  adoption  into  our  language 
of  many  Spanish  words,  while  some  Holland  words 
came  in  during  the  period  between  the  *'Dutch"  wars 
and  the  reign  of  William  HI,  who  had  been  William 
of  Orange.  The  16th  and  17th  centuries  marked  the 
beginning  of  England's  empire  beyond  the  seas,  of 
her  relations  with  the  Far  East  and  India,  and  the 
planting  of  American  colonies — from  which  resulted 
the  use  of  Indian  words,  words  from  India,  from  the 
East  Indies,  from  the  West  Indies  and  from  the  red 
American  natives.  North,  Central  and  South. 


A  NEWSPAPER  EDUCATION 
Have  you  a  newspaper  education  or  well  founded 
book  learning?  Do  you  see  more  pleasure  in  reading 
statements  that  end  with  'This  is  not  authentic,"  or 
in  storing  your  mind  with  time-proven  matter, — with 
studies  of  Hippocrates,  the  "father  of  medicine";  of 
Socrates,  the  "father  of  philosophy";  or  Plato,  or  of 
Aristotle?  These  might  seem  dry  at  first,  but  if  you 
continued  to  read  you  would  turn  back  and  re-read 
the  beginning  with  great  interest.  Would  not  your 
time  then  be  better  occupied? 

Again,  do  you  know  your  Holy  Bible,  the  book  of 
most  easy  access  and  worthy  of  much  study?  Did 
your  educational  desire  ever  lead  you  to  see  how  near 
Confucius  may  compare  with  it?  A  newspaper  edu- 
cation would  halt  you  on  your  first  step  toward  gain- 
ing a  real  fund  of  knowledge. 

So  become  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  Amer- 
ican language,  for  it  helps  one  to  see  the  defects  in 


28  THE  FERRET 

even  the  daily  papers.  If  one  could  see  the  majority 
of  newspaper  writers  he  would  be  ashamed  to  ac- 
knowledge ever  having  read  anything  which  purported 
to  be  written  for  intelligence  or  the  truth  by  them. 


BOOGY-BOO  HEADLINES 
There  are  two  Russian  words  that  have  recently 
been  adopted  as  headliners  by  the  newspaper  frater- 
nity for  boogy-boo  effects  on  the  public — and  with 
the  desired  results.  The  most  popular  is  "bolsheviki," 
which  properly  translated  into  American  would  mean 
"majority,"  just  as  "mensheviki'*  means  ^'minority." 
The  other  much  used  word  is  "anarchist,"  which 
really  means  "individualist,"  or  one  who  stands  alone 
in  his  ideas.  If  you  doubt  this  statement,  look  it  up 
in  a  Russian  dictionary.  That  is  the  best  place  to 
find  it. 


A  GREAT  AMERICAN  EDUCATOR 
Horace  Mann  was  in  his  time  the  leading  educator 
in  America.  Bom  in  Franklin,  Mass.,  of  parents  who 
were  not  financially  able  to  afford  him  even  a  common 
school  education,  he  became  a  wonderful  example  of 
what  may  be  accomplished  through  determination, 
effort  and  research.  He  not  only  was  handicapped  by 
poverty,  but  by  severe  manual  labor  his  health  was 
impaired.  Nevertheless,  he  determined  to  study,  so 
took  advantage  of  the  small  local  library,  where  he 
began  his  education.  To  what  extent  an  humble  be- 
ginning may  be  developed  is  plainly  shown  by  the 
accomplishments  of  this  wonderful  man.  He  not  only 
became  financially  independent,  but  he  wrote  many 
educational  books.  More  important  still,  his  addresses 
and  lectures  greatly  benefited  his  fellowmen,  by  help- 


THE  FERRET  29 

ing  to  extend  the  present  free  school  system  through- 
out the  United  States. 

Furthermore,  this  busy  man  found  time  to  look  into 
national  politics,  having  been  elected  to  the  House 
of  Representatives  as  an  anti-slavery  Whig  to  succeed 
John  Quincy  Adams. 

This  one  example  of  what  study,  research  and  in- 
vestigation will  accomplish,  should  spur  us  on  at  least 
to  familiarize  ourselves  with  ordinary  uses  and  abuses 
of  the  American  language,  not  to  mention  absolute 
facts  which  are  often  misrepresented  by  careless 
writers. 

Again  I  repeat,  "ferret"  out  these  things! 


SMALL  BEGINNINGS 
The  county  house  is  not  a  place  of  charity,  any 
more  than  is  the  public  school,  for  both  are  main- 
tained by  taxation;  so,  inasmuch  as  the  child  pays 
no  taxes,  yet  is  furnished  with  a  means  of  education 
by  the  taxed  people,  some  of  whom  have  no  children, 
he  or  she  is  receiving  more  free  benefits  than  the 
man  who,  having  paid  taxes  all  of  his  adult  life,  late 
in  life  is  forced  through  adverse  circumstances,  or 
old  age,  to  seek  aid  and  a  haven  at  the  county  farm. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  there  is  many  a  man  who  has 
no  children  going  to  school,  and  possibly  never  at- 
tended a  school  himself,  who  pays  hundreds  of  dollars 
in  taxes  towards  the  maintenance  of  such  schools; 
while  there  are  other  men  who  have  large  families  of 
children  enjoying  these  educational  benefits,  who  have 
never  paid  any  taxes.  One  of  the  first  public  schools 
in  the  United  States  was  taught  in  the  wing  of  a 
county  house  by  an  inmate,  who,  in  his  younger  days, 
was  a  private  tutor  and  went  from  house  to  house 


30  THE  FERRET 

giving  private  lessons  for  a  nominal  fee,  which  was 
the  custom  before  public  schools  were  inaugurated. 
So  the  public  school  really  had  its  beginning  in  the 
county  house  and  was  called  a  "poor  school."  Great 
things  have  small  beginnings.  At  that  time  it  was 
just  as  much  of  a  disgrace  to  go  to  the  "poor  school" 
as  it  is  now  to  go  to  the  county  farm.  So  hold  up 
your  head  if  you  are  compelled  to  go  to  the  county 
house,  for  you  have  paid  your  way  there  and  own 
stock  in  it  sufficient  to  take  care  of  you  in  your  old 

age.  

ONE  OF  THE  FIRST  PUBLIC  SCHOOLS  IN 
AMERICA 
In  1635  the  freemen  of  the  five-year-old  town  of 
Boston  established  a  school  and  made  public  provision 
for  its  support.  This  was  the  beginning  of  the  pre- 
sent famous  Latin  School  of  that  city.  In  1647 
Massachusetts  passed  a  law  requiring  every  town  of 
fifty  householders  to  maintain  a  master  to  teach  read- 
ing and  writing,  and  every  town  of  one  hundred 
householders  to  maintain  a  grammar  school  with  a 
master  competent  to  fit  youths  for  entrance  to  col- 
lege, wages  of  such  master  to  be  paid  by  parents 
whose  children  took  advantage  of  the  instruction,  or 
by  the  inhabitants  in  general.  In  1633  the  first  Dutch 
schoolmaster  arrived  at  Manhattan,  when  a  school 
tax  amounting  to  four  pounds  was  levied  and  col- 
lected. In  1638  New  Haven  set  up  a  school  under 
Ezekiel  Cheever,  who  was  paid  "out  of  the  common 
stock  of  the  town." 


FIRST  COLLEGE  IN  UNITED  STATES 
The  first  college  in  the  United  States  was  estab- 
lished by  the  Court  of  Boston  in  1836  at  Newetowne. 


THE  FERRET  31 

The  name  of  the  town  was  afterwards  changed  to 
Cambridge  by  Rev.  John  Harvard,  who  bequeathed 
his  library  and  seven  hundred  pounds  of  money  to 
the  college,  which  afterwards  bore  his  name. 


THE  ART  OF  PRINTING 

The  art  of  printing  was  not  first  invented  by  Euro- 
peans. To  the  Chinese,  or  Cathaians,  must  be  given 
the  credit  for  the  invention  of  printing.  The  Celes- 
tials were  printing  from  movable  blocks  when  Europe 
was  in  its  infancy,  and  this  method  was  introduced 
into  Europe  about  the  12th  century,  for  the  purpose 
of  ornamenting  fabrics. 

About  the  15th  century  there  was  a  Deutch  (Ger- 
man) lad  bearing  the  strange  name  of  Johann  Gens- 
fleisch  (translated  into  plain  American  this  means 
John  Gooseflesh),  who  was  one  day  playing  near  a  pot 
of  boiling  dye,  with  which  his  father  was  preparing  to 
color  some  skins.  He  had  cut  the  letters  of  his  name 
from  the  bark  of  a  tree,  and  was  spreading  them  out 
to  form  his  name,  when  one  accidentally  fell  into  the 
pot  of  dye.  Quickly  John  plunged  in  his  fingers  to 
rescue  the  letter.  Finding  it  hot,  he  dropped  it.  It 
fell  upon  one  of  the  white  skins  which  was  waiting 
to  be  dyed,  and  when  John  lifted  the  block  away  he 
saw  a  beautiful  purple  "H"  smiling  at  him.  This 
was  the  first  letter  ever  printed  on  the  continent  of 
Europe ! 

In  1450  we  find  a  printing  press  working  in  Mainz, 
under  the  direction  of  Johann  Gutenberg,  who  had 
changed  his  name  from  Gooseflesh,  availing  himself 
of  the  old  Deutch  (German)  law  which  permitted  a 
child  to  take  his  mother's  name  instead  of  his  father's, 
if  he  so  desired.    This  newer  discovery  of  the  art  of 


82  THE  FERRET 

printing  revolutionized  the  world.  So  much  for  John 
Gutenberg's  contribution  to  the  art  of  printing.  Then 
we  have  Laurens  Janszoon  Coster,  of  Haarlem,  Hol- 
land, who  was  the  first  inventor  of  movable  type,  but 
Johann  Fust  and  Peter  Schoeffer,  of  Deutchland  (Ger- 
many), were  the  first  to  put  the  movable  type  into 
practical  use.  The  first  printer  in  England  was  Will- 
iam Caxton,  who  turned  out  his  first  book  in  London 
in  1479. 

The  first  newspaper  ever  printed  was  published  by 
the  Cathaians  (Chinese).  It  was  called  the  Peking 
Tchingpao  ("News  of  The  Capital").  This  momentous 
happening  was  in  the  year  713  of  the  T'ang  dynasty. 
Later,  during  the  Roman  empire,  there  was  a  news- 
paper named  the  Acta  Diurna  ("Daily  Occurrences") 
printed  at  Rome.  The  first  newspaper  in  America 
was  published  in  Boston  in  1690,  and  was  named 
"Public  Occurrences."  Now,  think  of  the  present-day 
influence  of  the  newspaper  over  our  daily  lives.  Think 
of  its  enormous  possibilities  for  either  good  or  evil. 
It  is  impossible  to  over-estimate  the  direct  and  power- 
ful influence  of  reading  upon  our  lives,  so  be  careful 
of  what  you  read,  for  poisoned  reading  destroys  na- 
tions. 


THE  FIRST  NEWSPAPER  IN  UNITED  STATES 
Benjamin  Franklin  did  not  publish  the  first  news- 
paper in  the  United  States.  The  first  one  in  America, 
called  "Publick  Occurrences,"  was  published  in  Boston 
in  1690;  it  was  a  small  quarto  sheet  having  one  page 
blank,  and,  for  containing  "reflexions  of  a  very  high 
nature,"  it  was  suppressed  by  the  Governor.  In  1728 
Benjamin  Franklin  established  in  Philadelphia  the 
"Philadelphia  Gazette,"  published  as  a  weekly  until 


THE  FERRET  33 

1765,  when  it  was  merged  in  the  "North  American." 
In  1725  the  Colonies  had  two  newspapers;  in  1775, 
thirty-four  were  in  existence.  In  the  following  years 
a  number  were  established,  and  among  them  Amer- 
icans two  first  dailies,  the  "Advertiser,"  of  Philadel- 
nh^'a,  1784,  and  the  "Advertiser,"  of  New  York,  1785. 
The  advent  of  journalism^  came  in  1830.  The  "Daily 
Sun."  established  in  New  York  in  1833,  was  the  first 
penny  paper  in  America.  The  New  York  "Herald" 
was  founded  by  James  Gordon  Bennett  in  1835,  and 
the  New  York  "Tribune"  was  established  in  1841, 
with  Horace  Greeley  as  editor. 


THE  FIRST  RAILROAD  IN  AMERICA 

The  first  railroad  in  America,  built  by  Gridley 
Bryant,  in  1825,  was  four  miles  long  and  was  in- 
tended to  carry  granite  from  Quincy,  Mass.,  to  Bunker 
Hill  monument.  In  1827,  the  Mauch  Chunk  railway, 
thirteen  miles  long,  was  built  to  carry  coal.  In  the 
same  year  a  charter  was  granted  to  the  Baltimore  & 
Ohio  railroad  for  the  construction  of  the  first  road, 
intended  to  carry  passengers  by  means  of  steam. 


THE  FIRST  BICYCLE 
The  first  bicycle  in  America  was  patented  in  1866 
by  Lallament.  It  was  called  a  velocipede.  The  old- 
style  high  wheel  was  introduced  into  New  York  City 
in  1874.  The  Pope  Manufacturing  Company  began 
making  wheels  in  Boston  in  1878  and  produced  the 
first  American  safety  bicycle  in  1888.  The  pneumatic 
tire  was  patented  by  Dunlap  in  1889. 


34  THE  FERRET 

A  FEW  FACTS  ABOUT  THE  OLD  WORLD  THAT 

WE  ARE  NOT  TAUGHT  IN  THE 

NEW  ..WORLD 


POLYANDRY 

The  ancient  Empire  of  Abyssinia,  in  Africa,  had 
the  first  system  of  free  schools  in  the  world.  Abys- 
sinia also  is  one  of  the  oldest  of  Christian  countries, 
a  fact  which  may  startle  some  of  the  disciples  of 
Jesus  in  western  lands.  The  present  Empress  of 
Abyssinia  claims  direct  descent  from  Solomon's  royal 
paramour,  the  Queen  of  Sheba.  Her  majesty  is  the 
most  noted  example  of  polyandry,  having  five  hun- 
dred husbands. 


THE  MOST  ANCIENT  INHABITED  CITY  IN  THE 

WORLD 

Neither  Jerusalem,  Damascus,  Constantinople,  Cairo 
nor  Rome  has  the  distinction  of  being  the  oldest  in- 
habited city  in  the  world.  The  strange  old  city  of 
Gaya,  India,  can  claim  that  honor.  Indeed,  Gaya  is 
the  most  unique  city  on  earth  from  the  standpoint  of 
curiosities.  Some  of  its  rare  old  buildings  seem  to 
be  constructed  of  exquisite  pieces  of  lace.  The  Temple 
of  Mystery  is  one  of  the  oldest  and  most  fairy-like 
structures  ever  built  by  man.  All  Gaya's  most  beauti- 
ful, high-caste  women  live  in  its  mysterious  Zenanas 
in  impenetrable  seclusion. 


KING  SOLOMON  WAS  NOT  A  WHITE  MAN 

A  real  descendant  of  King  Solomon,  claims  to  the 

contrary  notwithstanding,  was  the  late  Dinizulu,  the 

last  king  of  Zululand.    While  Dinizulu  had  the  actual 

blood  of  Solomon  coursing  through  his  veins,  the  old 


THE  FERRET  35 

"Lover  of  Blood'*  made  many  very  extravagant  claims 
as  to  his  genealogy  and  dignity,  such  as  "Sun  of 
Heaven,"  "Shadow  of  the  Great  White  Bird," 
"Brother  of  the  Ginginylorn"  (elephant  in  Zulu), 
"Supreme  Wielder  of  the  Assagai."  To  Dinizulu,  all 
other  kings  and  princes  were  upstarts.  However,  the 
British  government  had  the  temerity  to  place  him  in 
a  terrible  dungeon,  where  the  old  sovereign  died  a 
few  years  ago.  Nevertheless,  he  was  a  direct  descen- 
dant of  King  Solomon,  who  was  not  a  white  man. 


FAMILY  INTERMARRIAGE  DESTROYS  NATIONS 
Mark  Antony,  Caesar,  et  al.,  were  the  "ornamental 
lovers"  of  Egypt's  scintillating  queen,  Cleopatra — the 
high  priestess  of  the  Lotus  eaters.  The  man  whom 
Cleopatra  really  loved  was  a  powerful  Ethiopian  slave. 
The  queen  picked  him  from  a  number  of  thousands 
who  were  bathing  in  the  Nile  during  one  of  her 
resplendant  journeys  on  that  famous  stream.  Cleo- 
patra, however,  was  not  married  to  any  of  her  numer- 
ous admirers.  The  fact  is,  the  enchantress  of  the 
Nile  was  the  wife  in  succession  of  two  of  her  own 
brothers.  The  first  brother-husband  she  caused  to 
be  destroyed  in  order  to  marry  the  second.  Thus,  by 
this  diabolical  subterfuge,  was  she  able  to  hold  the 
Egyptian  crown. 


THE  CITY  OF  LONDON  IS  NOT  A  MILE  SQUARE 
London  (the  capital  of  England  and  seat  of  gov- 
ernment of  the  British  Empire) ,  known  as  the  largest 
city  of  the  world,  is  really  but  little  over  a  square 
mile  in  extent,  and  in  1911  had  a  population  of  only 
19,657.  It  extends  along  the  north  bank  of  the 
Thames,  from  the  Temple  to  the  Tower,  and  north- 


36  THE  FERRET 

ward  as  far  as  Holburn  and  Finsbury  Circus,  and  is 
the  business  center,  its  "day"  population  exceeding 
300,000.  London  is  probably  an  ancient  British  town. 
It  appears  to  have  been  re-settled  by  the  Romans 
about  43  A.D.,  and  Londinium  (called  also  Augusta) 
was  the  capital  of  Britannia  in  the  last  part  of  the 
Roman  period.  After  the  departure  of  the  Romans 
(about  410)  and  in  the  early  Saxon  period  its  history 
is  obscure,  though  there  were  bishops  of  London  from 
the  seventh  century.  The  London  Wall  was  a  Roman 
wall,  built  between  350  and  369,  around  the  city  of 
London  (**the  City"),  and  enclosed  three  hundred  and 
eighty  acres.  There  were  two  gates  in  it,  the  west- 
ern gate,  now  Newgate  for  the  Pretorian  way  or 
Watling  Street,  and  a  northern  gate  for  the  Road  to 
York  or  Ermine  Street,  now  Bishopgate.  During  the 
Danish  invasion  the  wall  was  broken  down,  but  was 
restored  in  886.  This  was  kept  up  till  comparatively 
modern  times,  and  fragments  of  it  are  still  discerni- 
ble. The  most  notable  portion  is  in  the  street  now 
called  London  Wall,  between  Wood  Street  and  Alder- 
manbury.  Greater  London  consists  of  the  suburbs  of 
Battersea,  Bermondsey,  Bethnal  Green,  Camberwell, 
Chelsea,  Deptford,  Finsbury,  Fulham,  Greenwich, 
Hackney,  Hammersmith,  Hampstead,  Hoburn,  Isling- 
ton, Kensington,  Lambeth,  Lewisham,  Paddington, 
Poplar,  St.  Marylebone,  St.  Pancras,  Shoreditch, 
South wark.  Stepney,  Stoke  Newington,  Wandsworth, 
Westminster,  Woolwich,  City  of  London  (all  these 
known  as  the  "inner  ring").  The  "outer  ring"  con- 
sists of  Middlesex,  Surrey,  Kent,  Essex  and  Hertford- 
shire. Not  any  of  these  suburbs  are  included  in  the 
corporation  proper,  so  the  City  of  London  proper  has 
never  been  enlarged  beyond  the  sound  of  Bow-Bells, 


THE  FERRET  37 

which  covers  380  acres.  All  of  these  outlying  muni- 
cipalities account  for  the  lenghty  addresses  on  mail 
destined  primarily  for  London,  but  ultimately  for 
either  High  Street,  Essex;  High  Street,  Chelsea,  etc., 
for  there  are  endless  streets  of  the  same  name  in  the 
different  boroughs. 


THE  "UNION  JACK"  IS  NOT  THE  FLAG  OF 
ENGLAND 

The  popular  "Union  Jack'*  of  England  is  neither  a 
royal  nor  imperial  ensign.  It  is  heralded  by  all  Brit- 
ons as  simply  a  national  emblem  without  any  official 
sanction.  The  Union  Jack,  so-called,  is  made  up  of 
the  crosses  of  St.  George,  St.  Andrew  and  St.  Patrick, 
emblematic  of  the  three  saints,  having  sentimental 
and  historical  significances  in  the  islands.  The  real 
flag  of  England  is  the  "Royal  Standard,'*  used  only 
on  state  occasions  and  flown  to  the  breeze  only  at 
the  masts  of  the  royal  palaces  when  the  sovereign 
is  in  residence.  Its  design  is  made  up  of  mythical 
animals  surmounted  by  the  royal  crown.  A  remark- 
able fact  remains  that,  although  the  British  domain 
constitutes  a  vast  empire,  there  is  no  imperial  flag. 
In  the  Empire  of  India,  which  is  a  British  protector- 
ate, the  native  princes  still  cling  to  the  gorgeous  ban- 
ners in  use  during  the  Mogul  dynasty. 


POWER  OF  THE  SULTAN 
The  Sultan  of  Turkey  has  not  and  never  did  have 
the  power  to  declare  a  holy  war  between  Mohamme- 
dans and  people  of  a  different  name.  It  is  the  com- 
paratively little  known  Sheriff  of  Mecca,  the  keeper 
of  the  Prophet's  banner,  in  whose  hands  lies  the 
power  to  call  the  Moslem  world  to  arms  in  holy  com- 


38  THE  FERRET 

bat.  During  the  late  world-war,  feign  would  the 
Turkish  Sultan  have  declared  a  holy  war  against  the 
allied  governments.  He  made  several  attempts  to 
cajole  the  Sheriff  of  Mecca  into  so  doing,  but  without 
avail;  and  thus  was  foiled  one  of  the  Kaiser's  pet 
schemes. 


CUSTOMS  IN  HAREMS 
There  is  much  misrepresentation  with  regard  to  the 
life  and  customs  in  the  harems  of  Mohammedan 
rulers  and  persons  of  note.  Be  it  said,  and  with  au- 
thority, too,  that  the  woman  of  the  harem  is  more 
humanely  treated  than  is  many  a  wife  in  a  so-called 
Christian  land.  According  to  a  much  traveled  friend 
of  the  writer,  who  has  been  granted  the  unusual  privi- 
lege in  India  and  Egypt  of  studying  at  close  range 
the  women  of  these  Oriental  institutions,  their  in- 
mates are  lavishly  provided  for  by  their  masters,  each 
one  having  a  separate  apartment  in  which  she  is 
allowed  to  receive  all  of  her  friends  and  acquaint- 
ances, who,  of  course,  must  be  ladies.  Women  are 
never  introduced  into  harem  life  against  their  will. 
They  are  usually  candidates  for  entry  years  before 
their  admittance.  It  is  necessary  for  them  to  become 
highly  educated  and  accomplished,  while  relatives  and 
friends  must  be  perfectly  willing  that  they  leave  the 
family  surroundings  for  the  gay  and  strange  life  of 
the  palace.  The  present  Sultan  of  Morocco  has  been 
known  to  take  up  beautiful,  though  poor  and  ignorant, 
girls,  have  them  educated  by  foreign  teachers  within 
the  precincts  of  his  golden  harem,  then  return  them 
to  private  life,  ladies  in  every  respect.  A  girl  belong- 
ing to  a  harem  in  Morocco,  Turkey  or  India  is  more 
highly  esteemed  and  respectfully  treated  than  a  bar- 


THE  FERRET  39 

maid  in  England,  a  yellow-ticket  woman  in  Russia, 
and  many,  many  alleged  wives  in  Christian  lands. 
This  same  Sultan  of  Morocco,  according  to  the  writer's 
traveled  friend,  has  a  custom  of  bringing,  at  his  own 
expense,  operatic  troops  from  the  great  theaters  of 
Paris,  London  and  Vienna  to  entertain  his  ladies,  who 
are  so  far  from  being  captives  that  sometime  ago  a 
number  of  women  had  to  be  forcibly  removed  from 
the  palace  gates  when  "His  Highness"  decided  to  di- 
minish their  number — a  praiseworthy  decision,  for  the 
custom  is  a  deplorable  one  and  should  be  done  away 
with  in  all  countries,  whether  Mohammedan,  Christian 
or  otherwise,  and  the  strangest  part  of  all  is  that  the 
largest  of  these  harems  are  under  the  protection  of 
the  Christian  countries  of  France  and  England. 


SOLOMON  OUT-SOLOMONED 
The  late  king  Kululunkorn  of  Siam  had  10,000 
wives.  This  fact  became  known  first-hand  to  a  friend 
of  the  writer,  who  had  it  from  no  less  an  authority 
than  the  eighth  born  of  His  Highnesses  seventeen 
sons.  A  special  palace  was  built  to  house  the  con- 
jugal legion.  In  the  matter  of  wives,  king  Kululun- 
korn had  the  "lead"  on  Solomon  by  nine  thousand 
three  hundred  ladies,  inasmuch  as  Solomon  is  credited 
with  but  seven  hundred  wives,  the  remaining  three 
hundred  being  concubines. 


TWO  MODERN  NATIONS  ARE  WITHOUT  CONSTI- 
TUTIONS—JAPAN AND  ENGLAND 
Japan  is  being  governed  by  the  same  constitution  as 
Prussia.  The  Japanese  statesman.  Prince  Ito,  was 
sent  abroad  in  search  of  a  pattern  for  a  Japanese  con- 
stitution, in  an  effort  to  appease  the  people  who  were 


40  THE  FERRET 

clamoring  for  some  voice  in  the  govememnt.  Ito 
passed  up  the  United  States  and  all  of  Europe,  ex- 
cepting Germany.  In  Berlin,  Bismarck  showed  him 
that  by  accepting  the  Prussian  idea  he  could  fool  the 
Japanese  people  and  keep  the  Mikado  and  nobility  in 
the  saddle,  much  as  the  Kaiser  and  the  nobility  ruled 
Deutchland  (Germany).  Thus  Japan  of  today  is  gov- 
erned by  the  Prussian  fundamental  law,  while  she  still 
makes  a  pretense  of  being  her  enemy. 

England,  too,  can  be  said  to  be  without  a  constitu- 
tion, as  hers  is  largely  unwritten — a  most  extraordi- 
nary fact.  She  is  the  only  nation  on  earth  in  this  pre- 
dicament. However,  she  manages  to  get  along  on  her 
intricate  and  ancient  treaties,  bill s-of -rights  and  the 
decisions  of  her  courts.  Her  colonies  have  a  much 
better  basis  for  law  and  order. 


STYLES  AND  TITLES  OF  MONARCHS 
The  style,  title  and  position  of  emperor  is  the  high- 
est place  to  which  mortals  can  attain,  and  this  is  even 
restricted  to  members  of  royal  families.  The  dignity 
of  an  emperor  first  occurred  to  the  Romans,  who  made 
the  Julian  family  their  emperors.  Both  the  words 
czar  and  kaiser  are  corruptions  of  Caesar.  The  title 
kaiser  is  recognized  now  as  of  higher  degree  than  that 
of  king.  An  emperor,  like  the  ex-kaiser,  may  be  king 
of  a  number  of  states  composing  his  empire,  but  is 
still  emperor  of  the  whole  confederation.  The  Czar 
of  Russia  was  not  only  emperor,  but  King  of  Poland, 
Grand  Duke  of  Finland  and  grand  duke  of  a  dozen 
other  small  states  composing  his  empire.  The  King 
of  England,  Ireland,  Scotland  and  Wales  and  of  the 
British  dominions  beyond  the  seas,  is,  at  the  same 
time.  Emperor  of  India.  Coming  to  our  own  United 
States  and  other  republics,  the  title  of  our  chief  execu- 


THE  FERRET  41 

tive — president — has  been  handed  down  to  us  from 
Rome. 


AMERICAN  GALLANTRY  REWARDED  WITH 
FEUDALISM  TITLES 

Out  of  the  horrors  of  the  great  war  have  sprung 
many  American  nobles.  For  instance,  the  commander- 
in-chief  of  the  American  forces,  General  John  Persh- 
ing, is  now  Sir  John  Pershing,  K.  C.  B.,  which  accord- 
ing to  good  authority  makes  the  knighthood  heredi- 
tary. Then  there  is  General  Biddle,  who  was  supreme 
over  the  American  Expeditionary  Forces  in  England, 
who  has  also  been  made  a  "Sir*'  of  some  order  of 
knighthood.  Admiral  Sims  and  one  or  two  other 
American  naval  dignitaries  have  also  received  titulary 
favors  from  King  George  V. 

Among  Englishmen  of  any  degree  of  note,  who 
have  absolutely  rejected  these  feudalism  titles  previ- 
ous to  the  war,  may  be  mentioned  one  of  no  less  dis- 
tinction than  the  late  William  E.  Gladstone.  General 
Booth,  the  late  respected  founder  of  the  Salvation 
Army,  was  another  celebrated  Briton  who  refused  to 
be  knighted  by  the  late  King  Edward  VII,  saying,  "I 
neither  wish  for  nor  could  I  accept  any  titles  of  no- 
bility." Of  late  a  member  of  British  nobility  itself 
has  been  a  strenuous  advocate  of  the  discontinuance 
of  these  relics  of  feudalism,  for  such  men  as  Guiness 
of  the  famous  Irish  brewing  concern  was  made  a 
baron,  or  lord,  on  account  of  his  enormous  wealth  and 
the  fame  of  his  beer-porter,  or  stout.  Lord  Iveigh  is 
the  titled  head  of  the  Guiness  family.  Sir  Thomas 
Lipton  was  made  a  baronet  on  account  of  his  great 
enterprise  as  a  grower  of  tea  in  Ceylon  and  as  an  ex- 
pert in  pork  decoctions  in  the  British  Colonies. 


42  THE  FERRET 

AMERICAN  TITLES 
The  official  style  and  title  of  the  president  of  the 
United  States  is,  "His  Excellency,  the  Honorable 
Woodrow  Wilson,  President  of  the  United  States  of 
North  America."  The  American  Secretary  of  State 
is  always  addressed  at  home  as  the  "Honorable"  and 
as  "His  Excellency"  abroad.  Ambassadors  of  the 
United  States  accredited  to  foreign  governments  are 
always  addressed  as  "Your  Excellency."  The  Speaker 
of  the  House  is  styled  "The  Honorable,"  as  are  all 
members  of  the  Senate.  American  consular  officials 
are,  "The  Honorable"  so-and-so.  Moreover,  the  gov- 
ernors of  every  state  in  the  Union  are  addressed  both 
in  person  and  in  correspondence  as  "Excellencies." 
Protestant  and  Roman  Catholic  bishops  in  the  United 
States  are  addressed  as  "Lord  Bishops."  The  full 
title  of  these  American  church  dignitaries  is,  "The 
Right  or  Most  Reverend,  the  Lord  Archbishop."  And 
yet  this  custom  of  titles  among  Americans  is  uncon- 
stitutional. 


CORRECT  NAMES  OF  ROYALTY 
Until  a  few  years  ago,  the  family  names  of  the 
various  royal  and  imperial  houses  of  Europe  were 
quite  unknown  to  their  subject  peoples.  In  fact,  it 
was  considered  impudent  and  presumptions  on  the 
part  of  the  common  people  to  even  inquire  into  the 
family  names  or  origin  of  the  several  ruling  houses. 
Of  late,  however,  especially  during  the  late  world  war, 
there  has  been  a  tendency  among  some  writers  of  the 
newspaper  fraternity  to  attribute  family  names  to 
certain  European  monarchs,  which  are  entirely  er- 
roneous. A  case  in  point  is  the  ex-imperial  ruler  of 
Germany,  the  Kaiser  William  II.  He  is  usually  spoken 
of  as  one  William  Hohenzollern.     Nothing  could  be 


THE  FERRET  43 

farther  from  the  facts.  The  ancestors  of  his  ex- 
majesty  were  the  owners  of  Castle  Zollern,  a  corrup- 
tion of  the  ancestral  name,  which  was  Zolloring.  The 
German  people,  wishing  to  give  special  honor  to  the 
family,  attached  the  prefix  hohen,  meaning  high,  to  the 
name.  However,  the  family  name  of  the  ex-imperial 
family  of  Germany  is  Zollorin,  which  Prince  Henry  of 
Prussia,  a  brother  of  the  emperor,  readily  admits. 

Another  instance  of  misnomer  applies  to  the  British 
royal  family,  which  is  of  direct  German  descent.  The 
family  name  of  British  royalty  was  Guelph  (pro- 
nounced Welf).  It  was  afterwards  changed  to  Wet- 
tin,  inasmuch  as  George  I  disliked  his  German  rela- 
tives of  that  name.  At  present  the  name  of  Guelph 
is  generally  applied  to  the  family  of  King  George  V 
and  Queen  Mary  by  popular  writers  and  correspond- 
ents. All  these  penny-a-liners,  we  wish  to  state,  are 
wrong.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  King  George  the  Fifth 
has  quite  recently  changed  the  family  name  to  Wind- 
sor, after  the  favorite  palace  of  Queen  Victoria,  his 
illustrious  grandmother.  This  change  was  made  by 
the  reigning  king  to  show  his  disgust  for  his  imperial 
cousin,  the  Emperor  William,  and  incidentally  to  warm 
his  way  into  the  hearts  of  the  British  people,  who 
were  showing  a  loathing  towards  everything  German. 

The  name  of  the  late  Emperor  of  Russia  was  Nicko- 
las  Alexis  Romanoff.  Serbia's  king  bears  the  name  of 
Karageorgevich  (Black  George). 

The  family  name  of  His  Most  Catholic  Majesty,  the 
King  of  Spain,  Alphonso  XHI,  is  Bourbon.  He  is  of 
the  Spanish  branch  of  a  great,  noble  family  which  has 
reigned  in  several  European  countries.  King  Al- 
phonso wears  the  famous  crown  of  Castile.  His  full 
name    is:      Alphonso    Carlos    Pierre    Louis    Antoine 


44  THE  FERRET 

Jamie  Ferdinand  Phillip  Egalite  Henry  Xavier  Felix 
Rene  Pin  de  Bourbon.  These  names  are  repre- 
sentative of  his  Majesty's  illustrious  ancestors.  The 
title,  Most  Catholic,  was  conferred  on  the  kings  of 
Spain  by  the  Holy  See,  in  recognition  of  their  being 
favorite  sons  of  the  Roman  Catholic  church.  This  title 
was  to  pass  with  the  crown  of  Spain  forever,  no  pro- 
vision having  been  made  against  the  possibility  of  its 
wearer  turning  Protestant. 

King  Victor  Immanuel  HI  of  Italy  is  also  a  Bourbon 
of  the  Neapolitan  branch.  In  Sweden  the  descendants 
of  Marshall  Bemadotte  are  still  reigning.  This  family 
was  placed  on  the  throne  of  Norway  and  Sweden  by 
Napoleon  the  first.  The  first  king  of  this  dynasty 
was  an  officer  in  Napoleon's  army.  The  family  name 
of  King  Albert  of  Belgium  is  Bras-de-fer  (Iron  Arm). 
The  present  chief  executive  of  France  bears  the  name 
of  Raymond  Poincaire. 

In  the  annals  of  Chinese  "imperials"  the  Dynasty 
of  Chow  is  one  of  the  greatest  of  royal  family  names. 

China,  or  Cathay,  has  had  about  100  dynasties, 
covering  several  thousand  years.  The  imperial  heads 
of  these  dynasties  have  been  among  the  most  exclu- 
sive and  wonderful  mortals.  The  late  Dowager  Em- 
press, who  arose  from  the  humble  position  of  slave- 
girl  to  imperial  dignity,  was  a  most  extraordinary  per- 
son. This  late  imperial  lady  did  not  give  her  sanction 
to  the  Boxer  uprising,  although  she  bitterly  resented 
the  behavior  of  certain  foreign  missionaries. 

NAPOLEON  WAS  NOT  HIS  NAME 

When  speaking  of  historical  characters  it  seldom 

occurs  to  us  that  the  names  we  know  them  by  today 

bear  no  relation  to  their  original  styles  or  titles.  That 

great  French  emperor,  the  man  who  came  nearer  to 


THE  FERRET  45 

ruling  the  earth  than  even  Alexander  the  Great,  is 
always  referred  to  as  "Napoleon  the  First/*  as  if 
Napoleon  were  the  given  name.  However,  the"  Great 
First  Consul"— the  "Terror  of  Europe"— "the  Man  of 
Destiny,"  the  Emperor  of  France,  was  known  to  his 
family,  relatives  and  friends  as  Samuel  Bonaparte; 
the  Christian  name  Samuel  being  his  baptismal  name, 
consequently  his  proper  name  was  Samuel  Bonaparte 
and  not  Napoleon,  as  commonly  accepted. 


CHRISTOPHER  COLUMBUS  WAS  NOT  HIS  NAME 
The  Genoese  navigator,  popularly  supposed  to  be 
the  discoverer  of  America,  was  christened  Christopher 
Colon.  The  name  Columbus  was  applied  to  Chris- 
topher Colon  very  much  as  a  mob  of  boys  and  girls 
in  America  would  make  fun  and  jeer  at  one  of  their 
number  who  had  made  what  to  them  appeared  a  fool- 
ish boast,  or  had  failed  in  some  attempted  undertak- 
ing. In  the  case  of  Christopher  Colon,  he  had,  as  we 
all  know,  proclaimed  to  have  discovered  a  new  world 
beyond  the  Atlantic,  which  at  that  time  seemed  im- 
possible; consequently,  the  word  Columbus  was  an 
epithet  applied  to  him,  in  much  the  same  manner  as 
it  would  be  to  anyone  in  that  country,  when  personal 
or  public  opinion  was  against  them. 


THERE  IS  NO  CHINESE  NATION 
There  is  no  country  by  the  name  of  China.  This 
name  was  applied  to  the  great  land  of  Cathay  by 
illiterate  traders  and  missionaries,  on  account  of  the 
beautiful  pottery  from  the  clay  called  Cheena.  Edu- 
cated Chinese  of  the  upper  provinces  do  not  recognize 
"China"  as  applied  to  the  country  by  strangers,  and 
foreigners  who  have  lived   in  those  parts   for  any 


46  THE  FERRET 

length  of  time  never  use  the  name  China,  except  when 
referring  to  the  delicate  potteries  made  in  the  neigh- 
borhood. The  late  Dowager  Empress  was  always 
amused  at  the  continuous  application  by  "foreign 
devils"  of  the  name  "China"  to  her  beloved  land.  The 
official  proper  name  of  this  country  is  Cathay. 

In  the  days  of  the  patriarchs,  that  is,  in  so-called 
Bible  times,  Cathay  was  called  Sinim  by  the  Hebrews. 
However,  there  is  no  "Chinese"  race.  The  inhabitants 
of  Cathay  are  Mongolian  and  Tartar  in  their  origin. 
These  inhabitants  of  the  Celestial  Empire  do  nearly 
everything  contrary  to  the  customs  of  the  west.  For 
instance,  the  men  wear  the  skirts,  the  women  the 
pants.  In  reading,  they  commence  at  the  back  of  a 
book  and  read  toward  the  front.  One  native  meeting 
another,  shakes  hands  with  himself  instead  of  with 
his  acquaintance. 


LANGUAGES  OF  "CHINA" 
The  "Chinese"  do  not  use  their  written  language  in 
conversation.  The  Colloquial  or  spoken  language  of 
Cathay  (China)  has  never  been  written,  despite  the 
attempts  of  "foreign  missionary  devils,"  as  they  are 
termed  by  the  natives,  to  reduce  it  to  writing,  in 
order  to  make  plain  the  principles  of  Christianity. 
The  written  language  of  Cathay  (China)  are  not  by 
any  means  colloquial  in  any  part  of  the  republic. 
However,  the  written  languages  of  the  different  prov- 
inces are  all  expressed  with  the  same  hieroglyphics, 
so  if  a  native  of  one  province  cannot  make  himself 
understood  in  addressing  someone  of  a  different  part 
of  the  empire,  he  resorts  to  writing.  The  various 
languages  of  Cathay  (China)  are:  Hakka,  the  prov- 
ince of  Kuangtung;  further  inland,  Swatow,  Amoy, 


THE  FERRET  47 

Foochow,  Wenchow  and  Ningpo;  further  north,  the 
great  Mandurin  language  (Kuanhua,  or  official  lan- 
guage) ;  Yangchow,  Hankow,  Peakinese  and  Cantonese 
are  important  languages.  Mandurin,  however,  is  the 
most  important  language  of  the  country. 


ENGLAND,  IRELAND,  SCOTLAND  AND  AUS- 
TRALIA ARE  MISNAMED 

Again  we  have  the  name  Ireland  where  we  should 
have  Hibernia,  and  Scotland  which  is  really  Caledonia ; 
proud  England  is  really  Albion,  and  her  great  crown 
colony,  Australia,  is  really  Austral,  or  Southern  Asia. 
The  author  mentions  these  facts  simply  and  without 
comment.  How  the  original  names  of  these  several 
countries  became  changed  is  for  his  readers  to 
*'ferret"  out.    It  can  be  done. 


THERE  IS  NO  RUSSIA 
Then  there  is  the  case  of  Russia,  which  is  really 
Muscovy,  and  whose  inhabitants  are  Muscovites  in- 
stead of  Russians.    How  did  this  vast  East-European 
country  receive  the  name  of  Russia?     'Terret!" 


THERE  IS  NO  SUCH  PLACE  AS  GERMANY 
When  you  ask  your  small  boy  or  girl,  "What  coun- 
try have  we  recently  been  at  war  with?"  he  or  she 
will  eagerly  answer,  "Germany."  What  a  gross  mis- 
take! If  you  will  take  the  trouble  to  look  in  any 
encyclopedia  you  will  be  able  to  teach  them  the  truth. 
The  country  called  Germany  is  known  to  its  own 
people  as  Deutschland  only.  It  is  made  up  of  prov- 
inces, of  which  Prussia  is  the  largest.  The  ancient 
people  of  this  country  lived  in  tribes ;  then  they  grad- 
ually formed  into  kingdoms,  such  as  Bavaria,  Baden, 


48  THE  FERRET 

Prussia,  Wurtemburg,  Hanover,  and  a  few  others, 
which  in  about  the  year  1871  combined  under  one 
kingdom,  and  the  combination  was  officially  named 
Deutschland.  The  people  there  have  no  knowledge  of 
the  word  Germany,  and  never  hear  it  spoken  until 
they  come  in  contact  with  Americans,  or  American- 
speaking  people. 


A  SO-CALLED  DUTCHMAN  IS  NOT  A  GERMAN 
A  Hollander  is  referred  to  as  a  "Dutchman"  in  our 
language  only,  and  a  Deutscher  is  referred  to  as  a 
German  in  our  language  only.  The  words  "Dutch- 
man," "German,"  "Dago"  and  "Mick"  are  all  Amer- 
ican slang.  Say  preferably  Hollander  not  "Dutch- 
man," Deutscher  not  "German,"  Italian  not  "Dago," 
and  Irishman  not  "Mick." 

The  word  "Hun"  is  a  corruption  of  "Hungarian," 
and  does  not  rightfully  refer  to  German  or  Deutscher, 
as  you  will  often  see  mis-stated  in  the  newspapers. 


THE  POPES  OF  ROME 

The  titular  head  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  the 
pope,  has  not  always  been  domiciled  in  the  Eternal 
City — Rome — as  is  generally  thought.  Political  up- 
heavals and  religious  controversy  led  the  pontiffs  to 
take  up  their  official  abode  in  the  small,  windy  and 
ill-kept  town  of  Avignon  in  France.  A  palace  was 
specially  constructed  there  in  1316  by  Pope  John  the 
22nd.  After  Italian  affairs  had  quieted  down  a  little, 
the  popes  again  returned  to  the  Vatican  at  Rome, 
which  they  have  occupied  continuously  since. 

The  Vatican  is  the  largest  palace  in  Christendom. 
It  contains  upwards  of  six  thousand  rooms.  Some 
of  them  are  of  surpassing  splendor.     Billions  of  dol- 


THE  FERRET  49 

lars'  worth  of  the  world's  treasures  are  housed  there, 
largely  gifts  from  faithful  Roman  Catholics  the  world 
over.  The  pope  and  his  immediate  household,  the 
princes  of  the  Church,  secretaries,  and  lady  ser- 
vants occupy  about  600  rooms.  The  old  palace  at 
Avignon,  France,  is  now  used  as  a  military  barracks 
and  jail,  and  most  of  its  costly  fixtures  have  been 
removed  to  Rome. 


LAIRD  OF  SKIBO 

Andrew  Carnegie  was  known  to  the  world  as  the 
Laird  of  Skibo  on  account  of  his  ownership  of  Skibo 
castle  and  estate  in  Sutherland,  Scotland,  which  he 
purchased  about  twenty  years  ago. 

This  is  one  of  the  most  beautifully  situated  coun- 
try seats  in  bonnie  Scotland;  it  is  wonderfully  fur- 
nished inside,  containing  one  of  the  best  organs  in 
the  three  kingdoms.  Mr.  Carnegie  seldom  occupied 
Skibo  castle  after  the  death  of  the  late  King  Edward, 
who  had  often  been  the  Laird's  guest  there.  "Laird 
of  Skibo"  is  not  to  be  confused  with  "patented  titles" 
bestowed  by  the  King  of  England,  who  is  also  King 
of  Scotland.  It  was  simply  a  popular  "title"  bestowed 
by  admiring  Scotch  friends,  and  is  the  Highland  dia- 
lect for  Lord  of  Skibo. 


CARNEGIE  WAS  NOT  THE  ORIGINATOR  OF 
FREE  PUBLIC  LIBRARIES 

(Facts  regarding  Mencius,  the  great  Chinese  phil- 
osopher, translated  from  the  language  of  the  Bengali, 
in  India.) 

With  all  due  respect  to  the  wisdom  and  foresight 
of  Mr.  Andrew  Carnegie,  the  •  Scotch- American  phil- 
»nthropist,  in  the  estabjisbment  of  libraries  through- 


50  THE  FERRET 

out  the  American-speaking  world,  he  was  not  the  first 
mortal  to  take  this  means  of  educating  the  masses 
and  disseminating  knowledge.  The  great  Chinese 
philosopher,  Mang-tsye,  or  Mencius,  about  the  year 
258  B.C.,  founded  a  number  of  village  libraries  in 
several  of  the  great  provinces  of  Cathay  (China).  In 
contradistinction  to  Mr.  Carnegie,  Mencius  was  a  very 
poor  man.  Tramping  from  village  to  village,  teaching 
his  great  philosophy  of  life,  Mencius  managed  to  col- 
lect from  the  ignorant,  but  characteristically  inquisi- 
tive, natives  enough  of  the  currency  of  his  time  to 
start  these  libraries,  leaving  their  maintenance  in  the 
hands  of  the  scattered  disciples  of  Confucius,  much 
as  Carnegie  left  to  the  different  municipalities  and 
library  boards  the  task  of  supporting  his  original 
gifts.  Mencius,  however,  did  more  in  this  line  than 
the  "Laird  of  Skibo"  (Andrew  Carnegie)  thought  of, 
for  not  only  did  he  work  to  supply  the  buildings,  but 
the  tablets  as  well  (books  being  unknown  then). 
These  tablets  contained  history,  religion,  grammar, 
etc.,  in  the  original  languages  of  Cathay  (China). 

The  philosophy  of  life  of  the  great  Mencius  may 
be  summed  up  in  his  own  words:  "To  dwell  in  love 
in  the  wide  house  of  the  world,  to  stand  in  propriety 
in  the  great  seat  of  the  world,  and  to  walk  in  right- 
eousness in  the  great  path  of  the  world." 


THE  CHRISTIAN  CALENDAR  IN  COMMON  USE 
IS  NOT  CORRECT 
There  are  two  calendars  claiming  the  attention  of 
the  world.  The  first  one,  compiled  by  Julius  Caesar, 
is  known  as  the  Julian  calendar;  the  other  is  a  revi- 
sion of  Caesar's  calendar,  and  is  known  as  the  Gre- 
gorian calendar.     The  latter  was  the  work  of  Pope 


THE  FERRET  51 

Gregory,  a  powerful  Roman  Catholic  pope,  who  was 
noted  for  his  devotion  to  Christianity,  but  who  made 
many  mistakes,  for  want  of  knowledge.  One  of  the 
many  things  which  he  did  not  seem  to  interpret  cor- 
rectly was  the  meaning  of  the  word  Christ,  a  Hebrew 
word  meaning  "truth."  In  reckoning  the  Julian  cal- 
endar he  made  a  mistake  of  four  years,  which  would, 
according  to  ancient  history,  record  the  birth  of  Jesus 
as  four  years  B.C.,  and  this  ancient  history  is  being 
used  in  our  high  schools.  It  is  also  noted  that  in 
revising  Caesar's  calendar,  Pope  Gregory  named  Sun- 
day as  the  day  of  rest,  while  the  Julian  calendar  gives 
Saturday  as  the  Sabbath  day.  The  Scriptures  say 
that  our  Saviour  was  crucified  on  Friday  and  the  next 
day  was  kept  holy  as  the  Sabbath  day,  but  in  making 
the  revision,  the  Sabbath  day  was  dropped  and  Sun- 
day was  given  its  place,  being  the  second  day  after 
the  crucifixion.  Over  sixty  per  cent  of  the  inhabit- 
ants of  the  world  still  cling  to  the  Julian  calendar 
and  will  not  acknowledge  the  Gregorian  version. 


THERE  IS  NO  SUCH  PLACE  AS  KLONDIKE 
Of  far  away  Alaska,  where  the  famous  Yukon  river 
flows  north,  where  poor  men  become  rich  over  night, 
hundreds  of  interesting  novels  have  been  written,  in 
which  a  great  many  attempts  have  been  made  to  cor- 
rect the  misuse  of  the  word  Klondike  as  applied  to 
that  country  by  people  who  never  were  there.  Why 
call  it  Klondike?  The  prospector  from  "inside,"  re- 
turning to  the  "States,"  may  call  it  that  to  better 
make  it  understood  where  he  came  from,  but  back  in 
that  country  it  is  only  known  to  him  as  the  Yukon. 

The  word  "Klondike"  does  not  mean  a  country  nor 
a   location.     It  belongs   to   the   Indian   gibberish   of 


52  THE  FERRET 

Alaska  and  the  Yukon  district,  and  means  "hello,"  or 
"rich  find,*'  or  "joy,*'  or  "hearty  greeting."  There- 
fore, when  the  Indians  found  the  gold  on  Bonanza 
creek  in  the  Yukon  Territory  (which  belongs  to  Can- 
ada, not  Alaska),  they  went  to  the  town  of  Forty 
Mile,  Alaska,  down  the  Yukon  River,  and  exclaimed: 
"Klondike!  Klondike!"  meaning  rich  find,  and  lots 
of  joy.  One  word  of  the  Indian  gibberish  may  cover 
fifty  or  sixty  different  meanings.  "Chee-cha-ko" 
means  greenhorn,  newcomer,  fool,  softy  and  any  num- 
ber of  similar  appellations.  "Skookum"  means  strong, 
healthy,  hearty,  good  looking,  etc.  A  grunt  from  an 
Indian  in  that  country  expresses  an  entire  vocabulary. 
It  all  depends  upon  the  way  he  grunts.  So  when  the 
Indians  used  the  word  Klondike  in  the  Yukon  Terri- 
tory, they  did  not  mean  to  name  this  section  Klon- 
dike, but  simply  gave  expression  to  their  joy  over  a 
rich  find.  The  proper  name  of  the  place  is  Dawson 
City,  Yukon  Territory,  Canada.  If  one  were  to  send 
a  letter  to  Klondike,  it  would  be  returned  for  proper 
address.  Although  there  is  a  very  small  river  or 
creek  named  Klondike,  no  town  or  section  bears  that 
name.  No  gold  was  ever  taken  out  of  the  Klondike 
River,  nor  any  mining  done  on  that  creek,  for  there 
was  not  enough  of  the  yellow  metal  to  warrant  it. 
Such  a  district  as  Klondike  is  not  shown  on  any 
United  States  government  map  nor  on  any  Canadian 
map;  but  it  does  appear  on  our  school  geography, 
which  is  not  authentic.  Now,  in  the  first  place,  there 
is  no  Klondike;  and  in  the  second,  the  place  referred 
to  as  Klondike  is  not  in  Alaska,  but  in  Canada. 


ESKIMO  RELIGION 
The  native  religion  of  the  Alaskan  Eskimo  is  rein- 
carnation through  birth.    They  believe  that  the  spirit 


THE  FERRET  53 

of  some  of  their  ancestors  return  in  their  children, 
therefore  their  children  are  never  punished  for  fear 
they  are  wronging  some  deceased  relative.  Part  of 
their  religion  is  to  beat  a  tom-tom  until  the  fierce 
wind  stops  blowing,  and  if  they  beat  it  long  enough 
it  eventually  stops  through  natural  causes,  then  they 
give  the  credit  to  the  Great  Spirit,  and  their  effort. 


RELIGION  OF  MOHAMMED— WAS  MOHAMMED 
THE   FOUNDER? 

Mohammed  was  not  the  originator  of  the  great 
religious  system  bearing  his  name,  although  a  great 
many  of  the  prophet's  ideas  were  later  embodied  in 
the  Koran,  or  Bible  of  Islam.  A  poem  by  the  famous 
Persian  poet,  Tarafa,  of  the  tribe  of  Bakr,  suggested 
the  moral,  political  and  religious  philosophy  which, 
through  the  untiring  zeal  of  Mohammed,  now  bears 
his  name.  But  one,  Omar  Al-Khattab,  the  second  of 
the  Mohammedan  Caliphs,  who  was  familiar  with  and 
an  authority  on  the  poem — foundation  of  the  religion 
of  Islam — can  be  said  to  be  the  real  originator  of 
Moslemism. 

The  poem  in  question  is  one  of  the  golden  poems 
said  to  be  still  hanging  in  the  Ka'ba,  at  Mecca,  Arabia, 
the  Holy  City  of  the  Mohammedan  world.  Omar 
reigned  over  Islam  and  saw  Mohammedanism  trans- 
formed from  a  religious  to  an  imperial  power.  It  was 
under  Omar  that  we  see  the  Islamic  conquest  of  Syria 
and  of  Palestine,  of  Egypt  and  the  Persians  at  Neha- 
mend.  Omar  was  assassinated  by  a  Persian  slave  in 
644,  leaving  no  successor,  but  only  a  body  of  six 
Nuhajirum,  who  selected  a  new  Caliph.  Omar  was 
much  wiser  and  more  far-sighted  than  Mohammed 
ever  dreamed  of  being.    It  was  he  who  built  the  great 


54  THE  FERRET 

Mosque  of  Omar,  in  Jerusalem,  which  contains  the 
grreat  rock  worshipped  by  the  Mohammedans  as  the 
scene  of  the  prophet's  (Mohammed)  assent  to  heaven. 
This  same  rock  is  also  regarded  by  the  Jews  as  the 
site  of  the  supposed  sacrifice  of  Isaac. 

Western  writers,  together  with  a  few  jealous,  non- 
Islamic  easterners,  have  been  at  pains  to  prove  the 
great  Mohammed  as  the  real  founder  of  the  religious 
system  bearing  his  name.  But  these  claims  are  not 
borne  out  by  the  facts  as  related  by  the  (alleged) 
prophet's  contemporaries.  Many  of  the  most  enlight- 
ened and  best  educated  men  and  women  in  the  Mo- 
hammedan lands  of  today  claim  Omar  as  the  founder 
of  their  faith.  Indeed,  according  to  the  Parsees, 
Mohammed  was  not  even  the  so-called  prophet's  name. 
In  the  "Histoire  des  Arabes,"  p.  90,  1912,  the  author 
claims  that  Mohammed's  name  remains  unknown,  or 
possibly  was  Kutham.  Again,  there  is  no  record 
whatever  of  the  birth  of  Mohammed.  The  traditional 
date,  570  A.D.,  could  not  be  correct,  as  equally  good 
authority  connects  his  birth  with  "The  Year  of  the 
Elephant."  As  far  as  the  name  and  birth  of  Mo- 
hammed are  concerned,  we  are  as  much  at  sea  as 
we  are  with  respect  to  the  name  and  date  of  birth 
of  Jesus  of  Nazareth.  Finally,  to  explode  an  error 
we  have  often  heard  expressed,  Mohammedanism  was 
not  founded  to  offset  the  beliefs  of  the  Jews,  as  this 
race  at  the  time  were  confined  to  other  geographical 
regions  and  were  practically  savage  compared  with 
the  Islamic  peoples.  Some  Hindoos  say  that  the  so- 
called  Mohammed  was  a  renegade  fugitive  Jew,  who 
was  never  known  to  wash  his  face,  something  the 
Jews  of  that  time  considered  unnecessary.  The  old- 
fashioned  Jews  of  Jerusalem  and  the  swarming  Jews 


THE  FERRET  55 

in  the  Ghettos  of  Russian  cities  seldom  wash,  claim- 
ing that  Mohammed,  **the  good  old  Jew,"  taught  the 
people  of  his  time  that  "water  was  wet"  and  shouldn't 
be  indulged  in  too  frequently  by  good  Hebrews. 


THE  JEWS  DID  NOT  CRUCIFY  JESUS 
The  Roman  soldiers,  by  order  of  Pontius  Pilate, 
were  forced  to  perform  this  act.  The  Jews  had  been 
conquered  by  the  Romans,  and  Jesus  was  supposed 
to  be  their  leader.  Aside  from  the  Saviour  himself 
there  was  not  a  Jew  present  at  the  crucifixion.  The 
authority  for  this  is  based  on  ancient  history,  Bible 
of  Moses,  the  Holy  Bible,  and  the  History  of  Jeru- 
salem, by  Josephus. 

Why  tell  your  children  there  is  a  Santa  Claus,  and 
in  the  same  connection  tell  them  the  Story  of  the 
Cross,  for  when  they  find  out  that  there  is  no  Santa 
Claus  won't  they  be  apt  to  also  doubt  the  Story  of 
the  Cross? 


BUDDHA  WAS  NOT  AN  IDOL 

The  word  Buddha  does  not  signify  an  idol,  but  is 
derived  from  the  Pali  (Chinese)  word  "boodho," 
meaning  enlightened,  wise,  and  may  be  applied  to  any 
great  teacher.  There  were  many  such  before  the  ap- 
pearance of  Guatama,  to  whom  we  apply  the  name. 
The  tradition  is  that  when  no  Buddha  is  on  earth, 
true  religion  decays,  but  is  revived  when  a  new 
Buddha  arises.  The  Buddha  who  is  generally  referred 
to  under  that  name  was  a  distinguished  prince  of 
Aryan  descent,  the  son  of  a  king  of  the  class  of  the 
Guantenamas,  ruling  an  old  Hindu  kingdom  at  the 
foot  of  the  Nepaulese  mountains,  some  one  hundred 
miles  north  of  Benares.    As  an  Aryan,  the  prince  was 


56  THE  FERRET 

taught  to  look  with  contempt  upon  the  Turanian  in- 
habitants and  to  keep  his  caste  pure,  but  Buddha, 
with  his  wide-reaching  sympathies,  broke  through 
this  restraint  and  preached  the  equality  of  races.  He 
is  supposed  to  have  been  born  B.C.  622,  to  have 
acquired  the  title  Buddha  in  580,  and  to  have  died 
in  543.  Though  deified  by  his  admiring  followers,  he 
himself  never  claimed  divine  honors.  Buddhism  was 
dominant  in  India  for  one  thousand  years,  but  when 
it  became  corrupt,  Brahminism  prevailed  over  it  and 
almost  extinguished  it  on  the  Indian  continent,  al- 
though it  continues  to  predominate  in  Ceylon,  Thibet 
and  Burmah.  

MORMON  IS  NOT  A  RELIGION 
Mormon  means  the  head  of  a  household.  It  is  a 
Turkish  word  meaning  master  of  his  house,  and  is 
applicable  whether  the  man  has  one  wife,  many  wives, 
or  none  at  all.  If  he  is  the  master  of  his  home  he  is 
the  mormon  of  his  household. 

The  word  mormon  is  also  used  by  the  semi-savage 
people  on  the  vast,  empty  stretches  of  Northern  Aus- 
tralia. The  word  means  flesh  food,  such  as  beef, 
mutton  or  even  fish,  in  the  language  of  these  wild 
Australian  aborigines.  The  natives  of  Central  Borneo 
also  use  this  word  in  referring  to  their  widows. 


BRIGHAM  YOUNG  WAS  THE  GREATEST  COLO- 
NIZER 
Brigham  Young  was  the  greatest  colonizer  in  the 
world.  He  not  only  placed  under  cultivation  more 
land  than  any  other  colonizer,  but  he  civilized  more 
Indians,  and  what  is  most  remarkable  he  accomplished 
this  without  bloodshed.  He  had  twenty-one  wives. 
The  statement  that  he  had  forty-two  is  not  correct. 


THE  FERRET  57 

DAYS  OF  WEEKS  AND  MONTHS  HAVE  PAGAN 

NAMES 
It  is  a  fact  worthy  of  contemplation  that  not  a  day 
in  the  week  nor  a  month  in  the  year  bears  a  Chris- 
tian name.  Sunday  is  named  for  the  sun  god;  Mon- 
day for  the  moon ;  Saturday  f or^  Saturn,  and  so  on. 
As  to  the  monthly  divisions  of  the  solar  year,  July 
and  August  are  named  after  the  Roman  emperors 
of  those  names,  the  remaining  months  being  named 
after  various  pre-Christian  gods  and  Roman  mathe- 
matical divisions.  Moreover,  not  an  orb  in  the  firma- 
ment bears  a  Christian  name.  The  Sun,  Mars,  Sat- 
urn, Jupiter,  Uranus,  Venus  and  Neptune  were  named 
by  our  pagan  ancestors,  and  still  remain  so  named. 


ILLEGAL  MARRIAGES 
A  white  person  married  to  an  Indian,  a  Japanese, 
a  Chinaman  or  a  negro,  under  the  laws  of  California, 
would  not  be  recognized  as  husband  and  wife,  but  the 
United  States  and  Japanese  governments  have  not  as 
yet  arrived  at  a  decision  as  to  whether  or  not  a 
Japanese  can  be  classed  as  a  Mongolian. 


DR.  OSLER  DID  NOT  MAKE   THE   STATEMENT 

THAT  MEN  SHOULD  BE  CHLOROFORMED 

AT  THE  AGE  OF  SIXTY 

A  letter  received  from  the  John  Hopkins  Univer- 
sity, May  16th,  1919,  reads  as  follows: 

"The  statement  that  Dr.  Osier  recommended  the 
chloroforming  of  everyone  at  the  age  of  sixty  is  in- 
correct, and  affords  an  excellent  example  of  the  harm 
done  by  careless  newspaper  reporting  and  the  impos- 
sibility of  correcting  errors  thus  promulgated. 


58  THE  FERRET 

I  remember  exactly  the  circumstances  under  which 
the  supposed  remarks  were  made.  On  February  22, 
1904,  Dr.  Osier  made  the  chief  address  at  the  com- 
memoration day  exercises  of  the  John  Hopkins  Uni- 
versity and  dealt  particularly  with  university  training. 
Among  other  things,  he  stated  that  the  average  man 
in  a  university  would  show  what  he  could  do  before 
the  age  of  forty,  and  that  a  man  who  had  reached 
that  age  without  doing  good  work  was  extremely  un- 
likely to  do  better  in  the  future.  Furthermore,  he 
said  that  while  he  was  not  prepared  to  endorse  the 
recommendation  of  Trollope,  that  all  men  reaching 
the  age  of  sixty  should  be  chloroformed,  he  did  hold 
that  men  who  had  reached  that  age  without  accom- 
plishing results  would  be  extremely  unlikely  to  do  so 
later. 

Dr.  Osier  at  that  time  was  professor  of  medicine  in 
the  Johns  Hopkins  University,  which  he  left  to  be- 
come regius  professor  of  medicine  in  the  University 
of  Oxford  in  1905.    Yours  very  truly, 

(Signed)  J.  Whitridge  Williams,  Dean." 

The  most  highly  educated  people  we  have  are  forced 
out  of  positions  and  very  often  out  of  our  country  by 
lying,  ignorant  newspaper  reporters.  Dr.  Osier,  with- 
out a  doubt,  was  one  of  the  best  instructors  in  medi- 
cine that  America  ever  had.  After  a  varied  educa- 
tional career  at  Trinity  University,  Toronto,  Canada, 
the  university  colleges  of  London,  Berlin  and  Vienna, 
he  became  professor  of  physiology  and  pathology  at 
McGill  University,  Montreal,  and  later,  as  stated 
above,  he  was  appointed  professor  of  medicine  at 
Johns  Hopkins  University,  leaving  this  country  in 
1905  for  England  to  become  regius  professor  of  medi- 
cine in  the  University  of  Oxford. 


THE  FERRET  59 

The  late  Dr.  Osier  took  up  permanent  British  citi- 
zenship. In  this  way  he  escaped  the  stigma  caused 
in  America  by  the  deliberate  error  in  the  reporting 
of  this  now  famous  address.  Very  likely  the  news- 
paper reporter  had  never  heard  of  Anthony  Trollope 
whom  Osier  said  he  did  not  agree  with.  Possibly 
others  have  not,  therefore  we  present  a  brief  history 
of  this  irrational  man. 


ANTHONY  TROLLOPE 

Anthony  Trollope  was  one  of  the  most  curious  as 
well  as  romantic  characters  in  literature,  travel  and 
romance.  Born  in  England,  his  early  days  were 
marked  by  an  incessant  struggle  against  poverty. 
While  he  was  yet  young  his  ambitious  and  clever 
mother  brought  him  to  the  United  States,  where  to- 
gether they  opened  a  little  fancy-goods  shop  in  Cin- 
cinnati. During  Mrs.  Trollope's  enterprise  in  the 
American  city  she  wrote  a  book  on  the  "Domestic 
Manners  of  the  Americans,"  which  so  incensed  the 
American  people  that  she  was  obliged  to  return  to 
England.  Anthony  was  then  given  a  position  as  postal 
clerk  in  a  remote  part  of  Ireland,  with  a  very  small 
salary.  This,  however,  did  not  satisfy  the  ambitions 
and  romantic  Anthony,  for  he  always  held  a  grievance 
against  his  father  who,  in  spite  of  his  good  education 
for  that  time,  had  made  a  conspicuous  failure  so  far 
as  accumulating  money  was  concerned;  so  he  set 
about  advocating  the  destruction  of  all  humans  of 
his  father's  age  and  status  of  material  unprosperity. 
According  to  good  authority,  Trollope  would  wander 
through  the  crowded  market-villages  of  Banagher 
and  Clonmel,  stopping  here  and  there  among  the  bar- 
terers  for  the   purpose   of   discussing   his   distorted 


60  THE  FERRET 

"Malthusianism"  with  those  whom  he  judged  by  per- 
sonal appearance  to  be  fit  subjects  for  summary  ob- 
literation. From  Ireland,  Anthony  was  sent  on  post- 
office  business  to  the  West  Indies,  and  afterwards  on  a 
similar  errand  to  Egjrpt.  In  both  foreign  lands  he 
continued  to  advocate  his  pet  theory  that  all  humans 
after  a  certain  age  should  be  destroyed.  Anthony 
Trollope,  claiming  to  be  a  Malthusian,  distorted  the 
teachings  of  Malthus. 


THE  APOCRYPHA 

The  word  Apocrypha,  which  is  associated  in  the 
minds  of  most  of  us  with  certain  books  of  the  Old 
Testament,  fourteen  in  number,  which  are  referred 
to  in  the  thirty-nine  articles  of  the  English  Church 
as  "read  for  example  of  life  and  instruction  of  man- 
ners, but  not  to  establish  any  doctrine,"  really  means 
things  hidden  or  concealed.  It  is  probably  because 
the  date  and  authorship  of  these  books  are  unknown 
that  they  were  so  named.  The  Old  Testament  Apo- 
crypha (there  is  also  a  New  Testament  Apocrypha) 
was  written  during  the  last  two  centuries  B.C.,  and 
the  Jews  never  accorded  them  any  place  in  the  Old 
Testament  canon,  but  they  were  inserted  in  the  Sept- 
uaguit  (Gr.  trans,  of  the  Hebrew  of  Old  Testament), 
made  by  seventy  select  translators  and  thence  passed 
to  the  Latin  Vulgate.  Portions  of  them  are  still 
appointed  to  be  read  in  church  on  days  other  than 
Sunday.  It  is  interesting  to  know  that  this  word, 
derived  from  the  Greek  "apo" — from — and  "kryptein" 
— ^to  bite — is  not  only  applied  to  these  books  of  the 
Old  and  New  Testaments,  but  to  any  fabulous  or 
untrustworthy  story,  or  to  writings  suitable  for  the 
initiated  only,  or  which  are  spurious.    The  Apocrypha 


THE  FERRET  61 

was  eliminated  from  our  English  Bible  in  about  1700 
by  Pope  Gregory. 


MEANING  OF  THE  WORD  ORTHODOX 
Orthodox  does  not  necessarily  refer  to  Christianity. 
To  be  orthodox,  a  person  need  not  be  a  follower  of 
any  particular  faith  or  creed,  but  if  he  has  one  belief, 
one  idea,  and  follows  it  straight  ahead  with  no  varia- 
tion he  is  orthodox.  For  instance,  if  a  man  is  always 
a  Republican  without  variation  he  is  an  orthodox 
Republican,  but  if  he  is  a  Republican  one  time.  Demo- 
crat another,  Prohibition  another,  he  becomes  hetero- 
dox. Likewise  heterodox  has  no  special  reference  to 
any  creed  or  opposition  thereto.  A  man  may  be 
changeable  in  doctrines  along  any  line  of  subjects 
taught  and  be  heterodox. 


MEANING  OF  THE  WORD  BIBLE 
A  bible  is  a  combination  under  one  cover  of  any 
number  of  books  on  any  subject,  written  by  various 
men.  The  word  bible  means  books — (from  the  Ec- 
clesiastical Greek  biblis,  a  diminutive  of  bibles,  signi- 
fying the  inner  bark  of  the  papyrus).  Thus,  a  bible 
meant  originally  any  book  made  of  papyrus  paper,  and 
not  necessarily  the  word  of  God.  The  latter  should 
rightfully  be  called  the  Holy  Bible  at  all  times.  There 
are  over  fifty-two  bibles,  such  as  the  King  James 
Bible,  the  Roman  Catholic  Bible,  the  Koran,  the  Book 
of  Smith,  Mrs.  Eddy's  Science  and  Health,  and  many 
others.  None  of  these,  however,  claim  to  take  the 
place  of  the  Holy  Bible,  but  are  written,  according  to 
their  theories,  as  explanations  thereof. 


62  THE  FERRET 

A  MARTYR 

A  martyr  is  one  who  suffers  for  his  belief.  In  other 
words,  he  is  a  "witness"  to  the  truth.  The  word  is 
of  Greek  derivation,  meaning  "witness,"  so  in  case 
one  is  subpoenaed  as  a  witness  he  would  rightfully  be 
called  a  martyr. 


KING  JAMES'  VERSION  OF  THE  HOLY  BIBLE 
IS  NOT  COMPLETE 
The  King  James*  version  of  the  Holy  Bible  is  not  a 
true  one,  because  he  not  only  omitted  the  Apocrypha, 
but  incorporated  therein  an  excuse  for  divorce,  be- 
sides many  other  mistakes,  which  are  excused  by  the 
fluent  tongues  of  ministers. 


VARYING  MEANINGS  OF  THE  WORD  CATHOLIC 
There  are  two  distinct  definitions  of  the  word  ca- 
tholic. Used  as  an  adjective,  it  means  universal,  lib- 
eral; as  a  noun,  it  refers  to  a  person  who  accepts  the 
creeds  which  are  believed  in  common  by  all  Christian 
churches,  including  the  Roman  and  Greek  Catholic 
churches.  However,  the  Roman  Catholics  have  an 
entirely  different  form  of  worship,  and  to  correctly 
refer  to  this  particular  church  one  should  specify  the 
Roman  Catholic  Church. 


RELIGION  AND  CHRISTIANITY  ARE  NOT  AL- 
WAYS THE  SAME 
Religion  and  Christianity  are  not  always  the  same. 
A  man  may  have  a  religion  that  does  not  in  any  way 
embrace  Christianity.  He  may  never  be  connected 
with  any  Christian  belief,  and  yet  his  religion  may 
be  to  do  right  by  his  fellow  man;  to  be  honest  and 
contribute  his  money  to  the  poor;  or,  for  example, 


THE  FERRET  63 

he  may  be  a  member  of  some,  or  all,  of  the  secret 
orders,  which  might  constitute  his  religion.  In  other 
words,  religion  is  the  predominating  idea  or  thought 
which  governs  a  man's  life. 


THE  WORD  DEMOCRACY  DOES  NOT  MEAN 
FREEDOM 

The  authentic  meaning  of  democracy  is  a  govern- 
ment ruled  by  the  people  within  a  republic,  and  when 
that  government  is  no  longer  ruled  by  the  people  it 
ceases  to  be  a  democracy,  but  becomes  at  once  a 
monarchy. 


A  CANDIDATE  DOES  NOT  MEAN  A  POLITICIAN 
The  original  meaning  of  the  word  candidate  is  lost 
sight  of  by  the  politician  of  today.  Literally  it  means 
white  and  shining,  from  the  Latin  candidus  (white), 
and  candere  (to  shine).  Those  seeking  office  in  an- 
cient Rome  vested  themselves  in  white  togas,  pre- 
sumably a  symbol  of  the  purity  of  their  intentions. 


LAWBREAKERS 
All  persons  who  take  the  law  into  their  own  hands 
are  outlaws.  All  those  using  or  twisting  laws  to 
profit  thereby  personally  are  outlaws.  Also  judges 
who  misconstrue  the  law's  import  for  ulterior  motives 
are,  likewise,  lawbreakers. 


THE  LAW  DOES  NOT  EXCUSE  IGNORANCE- 
THERE  IS  NO  SUCH  CODE 
There  is  no  code  in  law  such  as  is  often  quoted, 
"The  law  does  not  excuse  ignorance,"  but  in  21  Cyclo- 
pedia of  Law  and  Procedure,  1726^  it  reads  as  follows  : 
'Ignorantia  Juris  Non  Excusat."    A  maxim  meaning 


64  THE  FERRET 

is  "Ignorance  of  the  law  is  no  excuse."  At  the  same 
time,  law  does  excuse  ignorance,  but  does  not  excuse 
ignorance  of  the  law. 


ERRORS  IN  DICTIONARIES 
A  dictionary  should  be  written  by  various  men  with 
actual  knowledge  on  different  subjects,  then  such 
errors  as  a  mountain  ibex  pictured  as  a  mountain 
sheep,  a  Jew  described  as  an  infidel,  a  kid  described 
as  a  young  child,  and  other  similar  errors,  would  not 
appear  in  our  modern  dictionaries. 


IT  WAS  NOT  A  WHALE  THAT  SWALLOWED 
JONAH 
There  is  no  real  reason  to  draw  the  conclusion  that 
the  fish  that  swallowed  Jonah  was  a  whale,  because 
in  the  second  chapter  of  the  book  of  Jonah  it  merely 
says  that  the  Lord  prepared  a  large  fish  to  perform 
that  office.  It  is  not  at  all  reasonable  to  assume  that 
it  was  a  whale,  for  zoology  tells  us  that  the  whale's 
throat  is  only  three  inches  in  diameter. 


THE  COMPASS  DOES  NOT  POINT  NORTH 
While  the  compass  is  an  instrument  to  determine 
direction,  yet  it  does  not  point  north.  It  points  to 
the  magnetic  pole,  which  is  2,000  miles  from  north, 
either  east  or  west,  according  to  location,  and  changes 
from  year  to  year.  Surveyors  say  that  in  the  United 
States  a  compass  points  the  nearest  to  north  in  the 
states  of  Ohio  and  Kentucky. 


NATIVE  RED  MEN  OF  UNITED  STATES  ARE 

NOT  INDIANS 
The  name  of  Indian  was  applied  by  Christopher  Co- 
lumbus,  because   when   he  landed   at   San   Salvador 


THE  FERRET  65 

Island  he  there  discovered  swarthy  red  men  who  re- 
sembled Hindus.  Taking  it  for  granted  that  he  had 
landed  in  India,  he  naturally  called  the  natives  Indian. 
In  later  years,  it  having  been  proved  that  he  was 
mistaken  in  his  location,  the  error  was  corrected,  but 
through  neglect  the  application  of  the  word  Indian  to 
American  red  men  was  never  corrected.  Indians  are 
natives  of  India  only. 


SITTING  BULL  WAS  NOT  AN  INDIAN  CHIEF 
Sitting  Bull,  who  is  often  given  the  title  of  Indian 
chief,  which  is  generally  accepted  as  a  historical  fact, 
was  really  a  medicine  man.  The  chief's  toga  was 
placed  upon  his  brow  by  the  American  soldiers,  for 
they  recognized  him  as  the  voluntary  leader  of  his 
tribe,  upon  the  sudden  death  of  the  chief,  who  was 
killed  in  action.        

STEFANSSON  IS  NOT  THE  REAL  DISCOVERER 
OF  THE  BLONDE  ESKIMO 
Stefansson  is  not  the  real  discoverer  of  the  blonde 
Eskimo.  They  were  discovered  and  talked  of  hun- 
dreds of  years  before  Stefansson  was  known.  There 
were  even  books  and  writings  on  these  people  pre- 
vious to  his  declaration  of  discovery. 


INGERSOLL  WAS  NOT  AN  INFIDEL 
Colonel  Robert  Ingersoll,  better  known  as  "Bob" 
Ingersoll,  was  one  of  the  most  brilliant  men  of  our 
day.  Like  all  truly  great  people,  he  has  been  accused 
of  saying  things  which  he  never  even  thought  of. 
Ingersoll  has  been  accused  of  being  an  infidel,  which 
is  very,  very  far  indeed  from  true.  This  accusation 
was  made  by  smaller  men  who  were  in  no  way  the 
equal  of  "Bob"  in  intellectual  powers. 


66  THE  FERRET 

CHRISTOPHER  COLUMBUS  DID  NOT  DISCOVER 
AMERICA 
The  real  discoverer  of  America  is  still  in  doubt  in 
the  minds  of  many.  The  Scandinavians  claim  that 
Eric  the  Red  discovered  this  continent,  and  sent  a 
report  of  the  fact  to  Sweden  long  before  the  famous 
voyage  of  Columbus  in  1492.  As  far  as  Columbus  is 
concerned,  he  never  knew  that  he  had  been  credited 
with  making  any  such  discovery,  for  when  he  landed 
at  San  Salvador,  in  the  West  Indies,  he  was  under 
the  impression  that  he  had  reached  Asia,  the  goal  of 
his  dreams,  and  he  died  not  knowing  there  was  such 
a  place  as  America.  The  only  evidence  that  Amerigo 
Vespucci,  for  whom  America  was  named,  made  the 
famous  discovery  is  that  he  proclaimed  himself  the 
discoverer,  and  if  the  historical  dates  are  correct,  then 
he  first  landed  on  American  soil  somewhat  earlier 
than  the  claim  of  Columbus  to  the  discovery  of  a  new 
route  to  India.  However,  Columbus  did  prove  that 
the  earth  is  round.  Furthermore,  he  discovered  to- 
bacco and  introduced  it  into  Spain,  where  it  eventually 
caused  the  downfall  of  this  one-time  powerful  nation. 


HOWE  DID  NOT  INVENT  A  SEWING  MACHINE 
Howe  did  not  invent  a  sewing  machine,  but  he  did 
invent  a  sewing  machine  needle  by  putting  the  eye 
next  the  point.  For  this  reason  his  name  became 
famous  and  was  leased  by  a  company  to  be  stenciled 
on  a  sewing  machine.  The  first  one  made  in  the 
United  States  was  invented  by  Rev.  John  A.  Dodge, 
of  Vermont.  Mr.  Dodge  never  applied  for  a  patent 
nor  attempted  to  manufacture  any  more  machines, 
for  lack  of  time,  and  also  because  of  bitter  opposition 
of  the  journeymen  tailors,  who  denounced  the  ma- 


THE  FERRET  67 

chine  as  an  invasion  of  their  labor  rights  and  an  in- 
vention of  the  devil.  The  first  patent  granted  in 
America  on  a  sewing  machine  was  to  a  man  named 
Lye  in  1826,  but  it  is  not  probable  that  it  contained 
any  useful  features,  as  it  was  never  heard  of  again. 
The  first  practical  and  commercially  successful  sew- 
ing machines  were  produced  simultaneously  in  the 
years  1850-1852  by  Isaac  M.  Singer,  Allen  B.  Wilson, 
Grover  &  Baker,  and  Wilcox  &  Gibbs. 


SUPERSTITIONS  IN  REGARD  TO  WEATHER 
Weather  is  the  subject  of  a  diversity  of  absurd 
theories,  among  which  may  be  ranked  first  the  idea 
that  the  government  forecasters  can  predict  its 
changes.  There  is  a  belief,  or  superstition,  that  mild 
winters  follow  a  mild  December — an  unpleasant  aug- 
ury, if  true.  There  are  some  who  will  not  give  our 
universe  any  credit  for  the  natural  causes  of  rain. 
Certain  gases  curdle  certain  moistures,  which  descend 
in  drops  that  we  call  rain,  and  there  is  nothing  phe- 
nomenal about  it,  just  a  natural  process. 


SENSATIONAL  HOLD-UP  FALLACIES 
When  we  read  of  a  hold-up  the  account  sometimes 
sets  forth  that  the  victim  "found  himself  suddenly 
looking  into  the  muzzle  of  a  forty-four."  "A  big 
forty-four"  is  a  phrase  that  lends  tremendous  melo- 
dramatic interest  to  any  kind  of  a  story.  It  would 
be  especially  important,  if  true;  but  the  chances  are 
that  there's  not  a  hold-up  man  who  would  venture 
outside  in  an  unlighted  street  with  such  a  revolver 
in  his  hip  pocket  and  risk  walking  half-way  down  the 
block. 

A  .44-calibre  revolver,  six-shot,  and  with  the  short- 


68  THE  FERRET 

est  type  of  barrel,  measures  fully  ten  inches  in  length, 
with  a  cylinder  almost  two  inches  in  diameter.  On 
the  scale,  empty,  it  weighs  two  pounds  and  nine 
ounces.  Six  cartridges  of  .44-calibre  bring  the  weight 
close  to  two  pounds  and  eleven  ounces,  net. 

There  isn*t  a  regulation  tailored  hip  pocket  which 
would  support  such  a  weapon  without  constant  danger 
of  its  toppling  out  on  the  sidewalk.  Ordinarily  a  man, 
respectable  or  otherwise,  is  satisfied  with  a  .32-caliber 
weapon.     Occasionally  he  may  buy  a  .38. 


THERE  ARE  NO  MOGUL  ENGINES  IN  PRACTI- 
CAL USE 

Once  upon  a  time  the  Mogul  type  of  locomotive  was 
used  largely  in  freight  traffic.  It  stood  in  the  public 
mind  for  all  that  was  big  and  powerful  and  fast  and 
dramatic.  So  fixed  in  the  public  mind  is  the  old 
"Mogul"  that  nowadays  when  two  limited  trains  with 
the  fast  Atlantic  type  locomotive  come  together  head- 
on  "the  giant  Moguls  were  reduced  to  scrap,"  is  the 
way  the  public  wants  it  expressed. 

One  of  the  greatest  bits  of  misinformation  now 
nursed  regarding  the  locomotive  is  that  in  building 
the  modern  railway  engine  to  such  height  and  size 
the  builders  are  acting  upon  a  new  discovery  of  a  new 
principle. 

"You  know,"  says  the  average  distributor  of  this 
"fact,"  "the  designer  once  thought  that  the  nearer 
the  rails  the  locomotive  was  the  closer  it  would  cling 
to  the  track.  Suddenly  somebody  woke  up  to  the  fact 
that  the  bigger  and  heavier  they  were  built  the  closer 
they  clung  to  the  rails.  That's  why  some  of  these 
modern  engines  have  drive  wheels  seven  feet  in  di- 
ameter." 


THE  FERRET  69 

But  don't  tell  a  railroad  man  that,  unless  you  want 
to  earn  his  contempt.  Locomotives  have  grown  in 
size  and  weight  in  order  that  steam  power  sufficient 
to  modem  needs  could  be  generated  in  their  boilers. 
They  had  to  keep  within  certain  bounds  as  to  width 
because  of  the  distances  already  established  between 
parallel  lines  of  rails,  width  of  bridges  and  so  forth. 


A  CHIFFONIER  IS  NOT  NECESSARILY   AN 
ARTICLE  OF  FURNITURE 

A  chiffonier,  to  be  strictly  correct,  is  a  scavenger 
or  street  cleaner.  The  word  itself  is,  of  course, 
French,  and  is  derived  from  chiffon,  which  means  a 
piece  of  rag  or  flimsy  cloth,  and  not  the  fine  fabric 
with  which  we  are  familiar.  Scavengers  of  Paris  for- 
merly cleaned  the  streets  and  gutters  with  rags  sup- 
plied by  the  city,  and  they  were  called  chiffoniers. 
How  the  word  chiffonier  came  to  be  used  to  denote 
an  article  of  furniture  is  that  it  was  used  for  a  catch- 
all for  rags  and  different  small  articles  not  in  use 
about  the  house.  Therefore,  it  would  be  a  household 
scavenger.  However,  in  order  to  disguise  the  name 
scavenger,  which  sounds  unpleasant,  we  have  bor- 
rowed from  the  French  the  word  chiffonier  and  ap- 
plied it  to  an  article  of  furniture. 


A  HOGSHEAD  IS  NOT  A  LARGE  BARREL 
A  hogshead  is  not  a  large  barrel,  but  a  stein  made 
in  England,  of  Sussex  or  Bellevue  pottery,  to  repre- 
sent a  hog.  When  it  is  empty  it  balances  so  to  stand 
on  all  four  feet,  but  when  filled  it  stands  upright,  and 
one  drinks  from  its  head,  hence  it  is  called  a  hogs- 
head. But  like  many  other  things  I  will  mention  here, 
the  late  compilers  of  the  dictionary,  whose  prestige 


70  THE  FERRET 

and  power  were  far  beyond  their  general  knowledge 
of  the  meanings  of  certain  words,  applied  the  word 
hogshead  to  a  large  barrel.  Dr.  Johnson  said  of  his 
famous  dictionary,  completed  in  1755,  "That  many 
terms  of  art  and  manufacture  are  omitted  must  be 
frankly  acknowledged,  but  I  could  not  visit  caverns 
to  learn  the  miner's  language,  nor  take  a  voyage  to 
perfect  my  skill  in  the  dialect  of  navigation,  nor  visit 
the  warehouses  of  merchants  and  shops  of  artificers 
to  gain  the  names  of  wares,  tools  and  operations." 


LEAD  PENCILS  ARE  NOT  LEAD  PENCILS 
There  are  no  real  lead  pencils  in  common  use.  It 
has  been  about  three  hundred  years  since  lead  was 
used  in  ordinary  pencils.  The  use  of  the  mineral  lead 
as  a  substance  with  which  to  make  a  more  or  less 
black  mark  is  entirely  out  of  use.  It  was  customary 
to  attach  a  piece  of  lead  to  the  end  of  a  slender  piece 
of  ivory,  and  call  it  a  lead  pencil.  In  order  to  make 
a  more  simple  one,  a  strip  of  sheet  lead,  cut  thin  like 
a  shoestring  and  rolled  with  the  sole  of  a  shoe  to 
make  it  round,  answered  the  purpose;  then  followed 
the  casing  of  "cedar"  and  the  so-called  "lead"  pencil 
of  today.  This  modern  pencil  has  not  a  vestige  of 
real  lead  in  its  make-up,  but  is  composed  of  a  con- 
solidation under  great  pressure  of  the  mineral  plum- 
bago (graphite),  which  makes  a  more  distinct  mark 
than  lead. 


DIAMONDS  ARE  NOT  INDESTRUCTIBLE 

Diamonds  will  wear  out,  although  to  most  people 

they  are  the  symbol  of  indestructibility.     They  cut 

glass,  to  be  sure,  but  they  are  worn  down  themselves 

in  the  process.     An  engagement  ring  will  often  be 


THE  FERRET  71 

nicked  around  the  edges  by  the  time  the  wearer  is  a 
bride.  A  small  chip  diamond,  such  as  is  required  to 
put  in  phonographs,  is  not  worth  over  twenty-five 
cents  in  actual  value. 


STEAM  IS  NOT  STEAM 

When  water  is  subjected  to  the  action  of  heat  it  is 
converted  into  invisible  gas.  The  white  cloud  that 
arises  from  boiling  water,  which  we  call  steam,  is  not 
steam,  but  a  vapor  composed  of  minute  particles  of 
water  suspended  in  the  air,  and  formed  by  the  con- 
densation of  the  true  steam  gas  coming  in  contact 
with  the  cool  air,  but  when  confined,  before  coming 
in  contact  with  either  moisture  or  air,  it  is  a  gas,  a 
most  powerful  explosive  when  ignited. 

Steam  pressure  will  not  explode  a  boiler.  It  will 
open  up  a  weak  place  and  gradually  escape.  Gas 
causes  the  explosion,  and  this  gas  is  generated  by 
putting  water  into  a  hot,  dry  boiler. 


CINDERELLA'S  SLIPPERS 
Cinderella  is  said  to  have  worn  glass  slippers  to  the 
famous  ball  at  which  she  made  her  reputation.  In 
the  old  Eastern  version  she  wore  fur  slippers.  The 
French  translated  it  "pantoufle  en  vair,"  and  the  Eng- 
lish translators  mistook  it  for  "pantoufle  en  vorre" 
(glasii),  which  is  pronounced  the  same.  The  English 
have  mistaken  a  great  many  other  words  and  use 
them  in  improper  places. 


THE  CAR  OF  JUGGERNAUT 
The   Festival   of   Juggernaut,   one   of   the   several 
Hindoo  methods  of  honoring  or  worshipping  their  god 
Vishnu,  is  not  the  barbaric,  blood-thirsty  thing  we 


7^  THE  FERRET 

have  been  lead  to  believe  it.  On  the  contrary,  it  is 
a  beautiful  ceremony,  as  religious  ceremonies  go,  and 
the  famous  car  of  Juggernaut  is  simply  symbolical  of 
the  Deity.  The  devotees  of  Vishnu  do  not  throw 
themselves  beneath  the  ponderous  wheels  of  Jugger- 
naut in  self-immolation.  They  content  themselves 
with  low  obeisance  as  the  strange  vehicle  passes 
along. 


SNAKES  IN  IRELAND 

The  story  of  St.  Patrick  having  driven  the  snakes 
out  of  Ireland  is  a  fanciful  one — an  old-wives'  fable. 
The  only  fauna  ever  known  to  exist  in  Ireland  are 
those  which  the  Irish,  like  ourselves,  have  domesti- 
cated— the  horse,  donkey,  common  dog,  rabbits,  hares 
and  ferrets.  Reptiles  have  never  existed  there;  and 
the  only  birds-of-prey  ever  known  to  have  their  habi- 
tat on  the  green  island  were  a  few  eagles ;  these  were 
in  the  neighborhood  of  the  famous  lakes  of  Killamey. 
To  talk  of  snakes  not  being  able  to  live  in  Ireland 
because  of  their  alleged  banishment  by  St.  Patrick 
is  mere  humbug.  Professional  snake  charmers  have 
performed  in  Irish  cities  times  without  number  in  the 
last  fifty  years,  and  there  is  no  instance  on  record  of 
their  repetilian  charges  having  succumbed  on  their 
hands. 

If  this  snake-story  Is  true,  St.  Patrick  must  have 
visited  Alaska  and  the  Yukon  Territory,  as  well  as 
other  far  and  wide  parts  of  the  globe,  where  reptiles 
have  never  existed. 

The  world  is  full  of  delusions,  entirely  apart  from 
the  great  mass  of  superstitions,  which  in  themselves 
form  a  class.  Superstition  is  blind  belief — ^belief  in 
a  thing  without  the  shadow  of  proof  or  foundation. 


THE  FERRET  73 

If  you  knew  a  thing  for  absolute  certainty,  you  would 
not  say  "I  believe  it  is  so,"  but  would  say  with  surety 
"It  is  so." 


THE  HEART  IS  NOT  OxN  THE  LEFT  SIDE 
If  we  ask  ten  averagely  well-informed  persons  in 
turn  to  locate  their  hearts,  at  least  nine  of  them — 
and  probably  all  of  them — will  place  their  hands  well 
around  on  the  left  side,  or  on  the  left  breast  up  tow- 
ards the  shoulder.  Of  course  every  one  knows  that 
the  heart  is  on  the  left  side!  But  it  just  happens 
that  it  is  not.  The  most  muscular  chamber,  the  left 
ventricle,  is  on  the  left  side  of  the  heart,  and  the 
largest  artery,  the  aorta,  arches  over  to  the  left,  the 
point  being  directed  toward  the  left;  and  these  con- 
ditions make  the  beating  of  the  heart  more  readily 
felt  on  the  left  side.  Nevertheless,  should  we  care- 
fully slice  ouselves  directly  through  the  center  of  the 
breastbone  a  larger  portion  of  the  heart  would  go  out 
with  the  right  side  than  with  the  left. 


WE  DO  WEIGH  MORE  AFTER  EATING 
We  often  hear  the  expression,  "Isn't  it  strange  that 
a  person  weighs  no  more  after  a  hearty  meal  than 
before  ?"  It  would  be  strange,  indeed,  if  it  were  true ; 
but  it  isn't.  If  one  eats  two  pounds  of  dinner,  he  will, 
immediately  thereafter,  weigh  very  nearly  two  pounds 
more  than  he  did  just  before,  as  any  good  scale  will 
show.  The  reason  that  one  would  not  weigh  exactly 
two  pounds  more  is  that  the  body  is  constantly  losing 
weight,  whether  one  is  eating  or  not,  by  perspiration 
and  by  the  moisture  and  dioxide  gas  exhaled  from  the 
lungs.  A  person  of  average  weight  will  lose  about 
two  pounds  in  a  Turkish  bath. 


74  THE  FERRET 

A  WOMAN  DOES  NOT  HAVE  MORE  RIBS  THAN 

A  MAN 
Very  frequently  do  we  hear  the  assertion  that  wo- 
man has  one  more — or,  rather,  that  man  has  one  less 
— rib  than  woman,  this  being  based  upon  the  Biblical 
account  of  the  creation  of  Adam  and  Eve.  An  ex- 
amination of  a  normal  skeleton  will  convince  anyone 
of  this  error.  Both  men  and  women  are  duly  provided 
with  twelve  pairs  of  ribs. 


A  PERSON  IS  TALLER  IN  THE  MORNING 
The  very  wise  among  us  smile  knowingly  when 
some  one  offers  the  * 'foolish"  assertion  that  a  person 
is  taller  in  the  morning  than  in  the  evening.  But 
just  try  it.  Between  the  twenty-four  vertebrae  of 
the  backbone  are  little  disks  of  cartilage,  which  dur- 
ing the  course  of  the  day  are  considerably  compressed 
by  the  weight  of  the  body,  then  expanding  again  when 
the  body  is  in  a  recumbent  position.  In  the  case  of 
a  heavy  man  of  good  average  height,  the  difference 
in  his  height  at  morning  and  evening  Is  generally 
about  half  an  inch. 


RESULT  OF  BATHING  WHEN  WARM 

We  often  hear  the  caution,  "Don't  go  into  the  water 
until  you  have  become  cooler!"  this  being  specially 
directed  to  swimmers  and  bathers.  The  kindly  dis- 
posed who  utter  this  caution  are  not  quite  sure  just 
what  would  happen  if,  when  heated,  one  should  plunge 
into  the  stream  or  surf,  but  they  feel  that  it  would 
be  something  very  dreadful,  in  which  they  disagree 
with  the  expert  advice:  "Bathe  when  the  body  is 
warm,  provided  no  time  is  lost  in  getting  into  the 


THE  FERRET  75 

water.    Avoid  bathing  when  the  body  is  cooling  after 
perspiration." 


THE  TRUTH  ABOUT  FALLING 

When  some  unfortunate  workman  falls  from  a  great 
height  there  is  always  someone  to  say:  "Well,  he 
probably  didn't  feel  it  when  he  struck."  There  is 
little  or  no  basis  for  this  belief  (superstition)  that 
a  person  is  dead  or  unconscious  at  the  end  of  a  long 
fall.  Surviving  jumpers  from  Brooklyn  bridge  prove 
this,  and  that  a  person  retains  consciousness  is  shown 
by  the  case  of  the  English  boy  who  fell  down  a  pit 
some  250  feet  and  shouted  three  times  on  the  way 
down.  One  theory  is  that  a  person  falling  would  not 
be  able  to  breathe,  but  a  train  at  sixty  miles  an  hour 
is  moving  faster  than  one  would  move  falling  100 
feet  or  so,  and  no  one  pretends  that  a  person  would 
die  of  suffocation  if  he  puts  his  head  out  of  a  train 
window.  Furthermore,  one  could  fall  from  the  top 
of  a  very  lofty  building,  like  the  Singer  structure  in 
New  York,  in  six  seconds,  whereas  one  can  hold  his 
breath  for  many  times  that  space  of  time. 


CATS  DO  NOT  SUCK  BABIES'  BREATH 

That  cats  inhale  the  breath  out  of  sleeping  babies 
is  an  old  absurdity  that  will  not  die.  The  human  race 
is  intelligent  enough  in  this  day  and  generation  to 
understand  electric  lights  and  the  wireless,  airplanes 
and  automobiles;  but  one  occasionally  hears  someone 
tell  of  a  baby  who  has  been  killed  by  a  cat  in  the 
above-mentioned  manner.  The  fact  is,  the  cat,  liking 
a  warm  place  to  lie,  has  jumped  into  the  baby's  bed 
and  suffocated  the  occupant  by  lying  on  it.    The  aver- 


76  THE  FERRET 

age  infant  is  less  in  weight  than  the  average  cat  and 
is  scarcely  able  to  drive  a  cat  away. 


TEETH  DO  NOT  BLEED 
When  we  speak  of  teeth  bleeding  we  really  mean 
that  the  gums  are  bleeding. 


THERE  IS  NO  DEATH  AGONY 
There  is  no  such  thing  as  a  death  agony.     People 
sometimes  die  in  agony,  but  the  agony  is  a  cause  or 
a  coincident,  not  a  result. 


ANIMALS'  TEETH  ARE  NOT  POISONOUS 
Nails  and  teeth  of  animals  are  not  in  themselves 
poisonous.  A  scratch  or  bite  from  a  dog  or  cat  may 
prove  poisonous,  but  only  because  some  impurity  or 
germ  has  been  deposited  in  the  ugly  wound  that  re- 
sults, but  when  a  serpent  bites  it  discharges  a  special 
poison,  which  is  secreted  in  glands. 


QUININE  IS  AN  ANTIDOTE  FOR  WHISKEY 
Whiskey  and  quinine  will  not  act  on  the  human 
system  at  the  same  time.    Either  the  one  or  the  other 
will  predominate,  rendering  the  other  useless.     The 
remedy  is  as  much  out  of  date  as  bleeding. 


FISH  IS  NOT  A  BRAIN  FOOOD 
An  assertion  that  we  hear  repeatedly  given  forth 
with  great  solemnity  is  "Fish  is  a  brain  food."  There 
is,  however,  no  foundation  whatever  for  the  belief 
(superstition)  that  fish  contains  any  particular  ele- 
ments that  adapt  them  especially  as  food  for  the 
brain,  or  as  a  support  for  mental  effort.  The  value 
of  fish  as  food  to  persons  engaged  in  mental  labor  is 


THE  FERRET  77 

found  in  the  fact  that  it  does  not  contain  large  quan- 
tities of  substances  that  demand  much  physical  exer- 
cise or  exertion  for  their  assimilation.  As  the  brain- 
worker  is  seldom  physically  active,  the  value  of  fish 
as  food  for  him  is  due  to  what  is  not  contained  in 
the  fish. 


DRIED  CODFISH  IS  NOT  CODFISH 

Codfish  has  so  long  been  a  scarce  sea  food  that 
there  has  not  been  enough  to  supply  the  demand,  so 
that  hake  and  haddock,  which  are  very  similar  in 
appearance  and  taste,  have  to  a  large  extent  taken  its 
place,  as  well  as  its  name.  This  same  circumstance 
applies  to  canned  tuna.  When  tuna  becomes  scarce, 
any  old  fish  in  cans  may  be  sold  under  that  name. 


SALT  IS  NOT  SALT  AT  ALL 

Your  salt-cellar  really  contains  chloride  of  sodium 
instead  of  the  real  salt.  Except  in  some  parts  of  the 
European  continent,  where  rock  salt  is  still  used  and 
whittled  off  the  lump  as  it  is  needed,  it  has  been 
entirely  supplanted  by  chloride  of  sodium  extracted 
from  the  salt  water. 


PEPSIN  IS  NOT  A  FLAVOR 

Pepsin  is  made  from  the  stomach  lining  of  hogs, 
sheep  and  calves.  When  dried  and  pulverized  it  forms 
a  yellowish  white  powder,  which,  in  combination  with 
proteoses,  is  used  as  a  digestive.  Beeman  was  the 
first  to  use  it  in  chewing  gum,  and  often  when  one 
asks  for  pepsin  gum  the  clerk  is  under  the  impression 
that  peppermint  gum  is  referred  to. 


78  THE  FERRET 

HAM  IS  NOT  HAM  AT  ALL 
Ham  does  not  rightfully  refer  to  meat,  but  derives 
its  name  from  the  crook  or  bend  in  the  hog's  hind 
leg.    The  word  really  refers  to  the  "ham"  or  joint  in 
the  bone. 


SWEET  OIL  IS  NOT  SWEET  OIL 
Sweet  oil  really  is  the  oil  extracted  from  olives, 
commonly  known  as  olive  oil.  Very  often  druggists 
have  supplied  linseed  oil  where  sweet  oil  is  ordered, 
but  recently  they  have  received  instructions  from  the 
federal  government  not  to  sell  any  other  but  olive  oil 
where  sweet  oil  is  called  for. 


THERE  ARE  NO  SWEET  POTATOES 
A  sweet  potato,  by  proper  name,  does  not  exist. 
What  we  of  the  United  States  are  pleased  to  call  the 
sweet  potato  is  none  other  than  the  yam  of  the 
Pyrenees.  The  first  of  the  kind  were  brought  to  the 
United  States  by  some  returning  travelers.  However, 
the  yam  of  the  Pyrenees — our  so-called  sweet  potato 
— must  not  be  confused  with  the  true  yam,  which  is 
strictly  a  product  of  the  peculiar  soil  of  tropical  Asia 
and  Africa,  where  it  grows  in  great  abundance  and 
to  great  perfection. 


IRISH  POTATOES  ARE  NOT  IRISH  POTATOES 
Long  before  its  advent  in  European  countries,  the 
potato  was  a  staple  food  in  America.  It  was  probably 
indigenous  from  Chili  to  Mexico.  In  1563  it  was  car- 
ried from  Virginia  to  Ireland  by  Sir  John  Hawkins. 
From  Peru  it  was  taken  to  Spain,  and  thence  to  the 
Netherlands  and  Burgundy  and  other  European  points 
early  in  the  sixteenth  century.     Its  importance  as  a 


THE  FERRET  79 

vegetable  was  not  recognized,  however,  until  1856, 
when  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  of  Youghal,  County  Cork, 
Ireland,  instructed  his  gardener  to  plant  them  in  his 
kitchen  garden,  telling  him  they  were  a  fine  fruit 
from  America.  Through  the  exertions  of  Raleigh  the 
potato  was  developed  in  quality  and  popularity  as  a 
food  to  such  an  extent  in  Ireland  that  its  cultivation 
spread  into  England,  where  it  became  known  as  the 
*'Irish  potato."  The  potato  mentioned  by  early  Eng- 
lish writers  before  the  seventeenth  century  was  the 
same  as  the  Spanish  batata,  or  potato,  which  was  first 
discovered  in  Colombia,  South  America,  growing  on 
the  Andes  mountains,  where  they  can  still  be  found 
growing  wild.  Therefore,  they  are  an  American 
(Spanish)  potato,  not  Irish. 


OPIUM  IS  NOT  A  PRODUCT  OF  CHINA 

Opium,  the  earliest  drug  used  by  dissatisfied  man 
to  deaden  his  nerves  and  lull  his  mind  to  forgetful- 
ness  and  pleasant  imagination,  is  not,  as  is  commonly 
supposed,  an  indigenous  product  of  China.  In  reality, 
its  original  home  is  in  Southern  Europe.  It  was  well 
known  to  the  Greeks  about  the  time  of  Dioscorides, 
A.D.  77.  The  use  of  the  drug  was  later  introduced 
into  India  by  the  great  Mogul,  first  as  a  means  of 
adding  to  his  wealth,  and  secondly  to  lull  his  three 
hundred  million  subjects  into  abject  submission  and 
lethargy — a.  lethargy  that  rendered  them  impotent  to 
overthrow  him  or  to  even  question  his  rule.  This 
Mogul  emperor  caused  the  spread  of  the  opium  habit 
to  Persia  and  even  to  Turkey.  Despite  the  Christian 
missionary  efforts  of  English  churchmen,  it  must  be 
said,  to  the  everlasting  disgrace  of  English  commerce, 
that,  through  its  dastardly  instrumentality,  this  dread 


80  THE  FERRET 

opium  drug  was  more  firmly  rooted  in  the  habits  of 
the  Chinese  and  Hindoo.  It  may  surprise  Christian 
Americans  to  know  that  large  areas  of  certain  Mexi- 
can states  are  used  for  extensive  opium-poppy  propa- 
gation. The  cultivation  is  done  by  imported  Oriental 
coolie  labor,  and  American  gamblers,  smugglers,  dis- 
credited business  men,  ex-politicians  and  procurers  of 
the  underworld  buy  up  the  output  and  distribute  it 
among  their  agents  on  the  United  States  side,  reap- 
ing an  enormous  profit  from  the  nefarious  traffic. 


OPIUM  DOES  NOT  PRODUCE  SLEEP 
Some  habitual  users  of  opium  become  drowsy,  but 
none  sleep  under  the  influence  of  this  narcotic.  In 
ninety-nine  cases  out  of  a  hundred  opium  has  a  stim- 
ulating influence  on  its  victims,  who  are  so  far  from 
sleepiness  that  they  may  be  spoken  of  as  unbearably 
wide  awake.  The  soothing  effects  of  the  dread  drug 
are  uncommon  enough  to  be  remarkable,  in  spite  of 
the  common  opinion  that  opium  is  taken  as  a  sleeping- 
draught.  Those  who  smoke  opium,  a  la  Chinese,  do 
so  for  its  strange,  marvelous  ability  to  work  the  im- 
aginative faculty  to  the  limit.  The  Chinese  opium- 
den  smoker  is  transported,  through  an  aromatically 
poisoned  imagination,  to  ravishing  realms  of  fanciful 
imagery.  But  he  is  far  from  sleep ;  ask  him  any  ques- 
tion and  he  will  answer  you  intelligently  enough,  if 
you  and  he  are  not  strangers,  and  he  is  not  suspicious 
of  you.  Opium  eaters  differ  from  opium  smokers  in 
that  they  keep  walking  around,  attending  to  business, 
religious  or  domestic  duties.  This  deadly  opium  habit 
is  formed  by  Orientals  in  their  efforts  to  prevent  dis- 
ease, while  Europeans  and  Americans  usually  resort 
to  the  king  of  drugs  when  the  disease  is  already  upon 


THE  FERRET  81 

them.  The  habit  is  contracted  either  way.  How  opium 
became  known  as  a  sleep-inducer  we  are  at  a  loss  to 
understand,  unless  those  foreigners  who  were  first 
granted  an  entrance  to  an  Oriental  opium  den,  upon 
seeing  the  reclining  position  of  the  addicts,  concluded 
that  they  were  either  in  a  stupor  or  asleep.  An  opium 
fiend  will  never  resort  to  the  opium  pipe  and  lamp 
in  search  of  sleep  or  even  rest.  A  large  cup  of  cocoa- 
tina,  made  from  the  outer  crust  of  the  cocoanut  shell, 
has  more  eflfect  in  encouraging  sleep  than  opium  ever 
had,  and  the  fiend  is  well  aware  of  this  fact.  Indeed, 
an  ordinary  cup  of  hot  water — a  mild  opiate  in  itself 
— has  been  known  to  lull  thousands  into  more  of  a 
narcotic  sleep  than  could  possibly  be  induced  by  any 
amount  of  opium.  Beer — common  bar  beer — is  more 
of  a  sleeping  draught  than  opium.  Our  great  mistake 
is  in  supposing  that  the  drug  habit  is  peculiar  to 
China  or  any  other  part  of  the  Orient.  There  is,  sad 
to  relate,  just  as  irresistible  a  craving  for  drugs  in 
America  as  there  ever  was  in  Asia.  Where  is  the 
American  city  or  town  without  its  "dope"  colony? 
Where  is  the  American  underworld  clique  without  its 
"dope"  ring;  and  how  long  would  our  American  cor- 
ner drug-store  exist  without  its  narcotic  and  patent- 
medicine  customers?  Lately,  the  Chinese  government 
has,  by  edict  and  otherwise,  declared  opium  "taboo"; 
and  the  teeming  millions  of  India  are  at  this  moment 
working  like  Trojans  to  overthrow  the  monster.  What, 
then,  are  we  Christian  Americans  going  to  do  about 
"dope"?  We  have,  through  legislation,  given  King 
Alcohol  his  walking  ticket.  Is  it  wise,  then,  to  permit 
"Kaiser"  Dope  to  remain? 


82  THE  FERRET 

KNIGHTED  BEEF 

Who  has  heard  of  ennobled  beef?  Everybody.  But 
few  have  suspected  the  origin  of  its  distinction,  which 
happened  in  this  wise: 

Henry  VH  of  England  had  returned  ravenously 
hungry  from  a  hunt  in  Windsor  Great  Park.  In  the 
state  dining  room  a  great  feast  was  prepared  for  his 
majesty  and  his  guests.  The  piece  de  resistance  was 
a  great  loin  of  beef.  The  luscious  roast  was  so  en- 
joyed by  the  old  king  that,  calling  a  servitor  who 
stood  close  to  the  royal  person,  and  demanding  that 
a  sword  be  forthwith  brought  in,  Henry  touched  the 
meat  with  the  sword-tip,  saying,  "Henceforth  be  Sir 
Loin."    Hence  the  origin  of  our  sirloin  steak. 


ABOUT  THE  WORD  AND  PLACE  HELL 
There  is  no  equivalent  in  the  "Chinese"  language  for 
the  Christian  term  "hell,"  nor  in  Hindoo,  either.  They 
have  no  knowledge  or  history  of  any  such  place. 

The  Christian  word  hell  is  of  comparatively  modem 
origin.  The  word  was  invented,  together  with  the 
place  it  is  supposed  to  name,  in  an  effort  to  frighten 
the  ignorant  into  abject  subjection  and  obedience  to 
the  will  of  organized  religion.  The  only  word  in  the 
Christian  Bible  that  could  be  construed  to  mean  "hell" 
is  hades.  Josephus  says  that  hades  is  a  "place  in  the 
bowels  of  the  earth  into  which  the  light  of  this  world 
does  not  enter."  Modern  Christians,  however,  who 
have  a  common-sense  grasp  of  the  plain  facts  of  the 
universe  have  discarded  this  "hellish"  theory. 


POPULAR  BELIEFS 
To  freeze  a  living  thing  means,  to  most  minds,  to 
kill  it.    Yet  all  hardy  plants  can  be  frozen  without 


THE  FERKET  83 

being  injured.  So  can  many  insects,  if  they  are  not 
broken  while  in  that  brittle  state.  In  many  parts  of 
the  world  it  is  believed  that  a  snake  will  not  die  until 
sunset,  no  matter  how  vigorously  one  hacks  at  it.  If 
by  chance  you  kill  the  snake  after  sunset,  according 
to  these  theories,  it  would  not  die  until  sunrise,  while 
as  a  matter  of  fact  it  takes  just  so  much  time  for  the 
flesh  of  the  snake  to  stop  its  motion;  in  the  same 
manner  it  requires  so  much  time  for  a  chicken  to 
cease  jumping  after  its  head  is  cut  off. 

It  is  an  old,  old  belief,  or  superstition,  that  cats  see 
better  in  the  dark.  They  see  better  than  we  do,  no 
doubt;  but  that  is  not  saying  much. 

There  used  to  be  a  belief,  or  superstition,  that  rats 
never  went  on  a  ship  that  was  destined  to  founder 
at  sea.  This  has  a  fine  supernatural  ring;  but,  as  a 
matter  of  fact,  has  a  good  deal  of  truth  at  the  bottom. 
Unsea worthy  vessels  in  the  olden  days  were  likely  to 
be  leaky  and  contain  much  bilge-water.  The  rats 
would  naturally  abandon  such  damp  quarters  for  a 
dryer  berth. 

When  a  woman  opens  a  closet  and  a  moth  flies  out 
she  thinks,  as  a  rule,  that  the  moth  has  been  eating 
her  clothes.  However,  the  fact  is  the  creature  does 
its  eating  in  the  grub  stage,  and  is  harmless  when  it 
has  become  a  flying  thing — save  that  it  will  produce 
a  numerous  quantity  of  young  to  carry  on  the  damag- 
ing work. 

The  pendulum  does  not  make  the  clock  go ;  it  merely 
makes  it  go  evenly. 

Many  a  person  believes  that  a  soft-boiled  egg  that 
has  been  allowed  to  cool  cannot  be  made  hard  by  a 
second  boiling.    Try  it! 


84  THE  FERRET 

WHAT  ARE  FALLACIES? 
Fallacy  is  from  the  Latin  verb  fallere,  to  deceive. 
As  psychologists  tell  us,  fallacies  proceed  either  from 
reasoning  falsely  from  correct  premises  or  from  rea- 
sonly  correctly  from  false  premises.  The  greater  part 
of  them,  especially  those  held  by  children,  are  to  be 
ascribed  to  false  reasoning  from  correct  premises. 
Children,  it  is  needless  to  point  out,  are  usually  pro- 
vided with  plenty  of  imagination,  and  these  imagina- 
tions stick  to  some  people  all  through  life,  for  they 
never  take  pains  to  investigate  to  see  whether  their 
imaginations  are  right,  but  take  great  pleasure  in 
telling  it  to  their  children  and  grand-children.  That 
is  how  people  become  peasants. 


ODD  FACTS  GLEANED  FROM  MANY  SOURCES 

There  are  two  distinct  United  States  histories  used 
in  the  public  schools;  one  is  taught  in  the  North  the 
other  in  the  South,  and  they  contradict  each  other; 
therefore,  we  have  no  authentic  history  of  the  United 
States. 

Harmonica  is  the  Deutsch  (German)  name  for  the 
mouth-harp,  and  that  particular  musical  instrument 
was  manufactured  only  by  Hohner  of  Deutschland.  A 
similar  musical  instrument  made  by  the  French  is 
called  a  French  harp.  Those  made  in  America  are 
named  mouth-harps  or  mouth-organs.  But  those  im- 
ported from  Deutschland  (Germany)  are  harmonicas. 

There  never  was  a  peasant  banished  from  Nova 
Scotia  or  Arcadia.  They  were  deported  because  they 
refused  to  become  loyal  subjects  to  the  King  of  Eng- 
land, who  had  conquered  the  country  in  that  year. 

How  many  people  know  there  was  once  a  state  of 
Franklin  within  the  limits  of  the  United  States?  This 


THE  FERRET  86 

state  of  Franklin  was  a  part  of  the  present  state  of 
Kentucky.  The  people  became  dissatisfied  and  were 
given  permission  to  separate  from  Kentucky,  but  two 
or  three  years  later  the  permission  was  revoked.  This 
occurred  between  1787  and  1791. 

Turkeys  did  not  come  from  Turkey,  but  from  North 
America.  The  name  was  applied  from  the  fact  that 
they  were  foreign  birds  when  introduced  into  Europe 
from  the  New  World  in  1530.  Turkey  at  that  time 
was  a  vague  term  and  often  meant  Tartary. 

Irish  stew  is  unknown  in  Ireland.  There  is  a  stew 
made  in  Ireland  which  contains,  besides  meat,  twenty 
or  thirty  other  ingredients.  It  is  not  called  "Irish 
stew,"  however. 

Japanese  tea  trays  are  not  in  use  in  Japan.  They 
are  only  manufactured  for  the  American  and  British 
trade. 

Great  Dane  dogs  are  unknown  in  Denmark.  The 
name  is  simply  applied  to  a  certain  breed  of  dogs 
raised  in  the  United  States. 

Blacklead  has  no  connection  with  lead,  it  being  a 
compound  of  carbon  and  iron. 

Sealing-wax  is  not  wax,  nor  does  it  contain  a  single 
particle  of  wax.  It  is  made  of  shellac,  Venice  turpen- 
tine and  cinnabar. 

"Free  gratis"  is  not  a  correct  form  of  speech,  as 
free  and  gratis  mean  the  same. 

La  grippe  had  its  origin  in  France,  "la"  being  the 
French  word  for  "the."  Therefore,  when  you  say  you 
have  the  la  grippe  you  are  not  speaking  correctly  but 
are  simply  using  the  same  word  in  two  languages. 

Cuttle-bone  is  not  bone,  but  a  structure  of  pure 
chalk  imbedded  loosely  in  the  substance  of  a  specie 
of  cuttle-fish. 


86  THE  FERRET 

Black  and  white  are  not  colors.  Black  is  dark  and 
white  is  light. 

Galvanized  iron  is  not  galvanized.  It  is  simply  iron 
coated  with  zinc. 

Coppers  and  nickels  are  not  legal  tender. 

Deutsch  (German)  silver  is  not  silver,  but  a  me- 
tallic mixture,  the  composition  of  which  was  attrib- 
uted to  a  native  of  Deutschland  (Germany).  However, 
it  cannot  bear  the  "Made  in  Germany"  stamp,  as  it 
has  been  in  use  in  Cathay  (China)  time  out  of  mind. 

Rice  paper  is  not  made  from  rice,  but  from  the  pith 
of  tungtsaw,  or  hollowplant,  so-called  because  it  is 
hollow  when  the  pith  is  removed. 

Wormwood  has  nothing  to  do  with  worms  or  wood. 
In  fact  it  is  a  corrupted  word,  the  original  being  "wor- 
mod,"  a  very  bitter  plant  used  in  the  manufacture  of 
absinthe,  a  strong  drink,  which  eventually  destroys 
the  mind  of  the  user. 

Natural  mahogany  wood  is  white  until  it  is  stained 
red. 

It  has  been  over  two  hundred  years  since  violin 
strings  have  been  made  of  cat-gut.  They  are  manu- 
factured by  large  packing  houses,  and  are  made  of 
sheep-gut. 

There  is  no  such  thing  as  white  gold.  White  gold 
and  green  gold  are  manufactured  by  adulterating  it 
with  quicksilver,  zinc  or  various  other  things.  All 
pure  gold  is  yellow. 

The  original  name  of  gymnasium  referred  to  a 
school  that  was  entirely  devoted  to  education  and  was 
not  a  place  of  physical  training. 

A  bacon  is  a  hog  on  foot. 

Transpire  and  perspire  have  the  same  meaning. 


THE  FERRET  87 

POPULAR  HISTORICAL  INCIDENTS  THAT 
NEVER  HAPPENED 

History  abounds  in  things  that  never  happened. 

Wellington  never  said,  "Up,  Guards,  and  at  them!" 
at  the  battle  of  Waterloo. 

Dick  Whittington  never  came  to  London  with  a  cat. 

William  Tell  never  shot  the  apple  off  his  son*s  head. 
In  fact,  such  a  person  as  William  Tell  never  existed. 

Horatius  never  defended  the  bridge. 

The  old  story  about  Lady  Godiva  has  been  abso- 
lutely disproved. 

Mount  Ararat  was  not  a  mountain,  but  a  region. 

George  Washington  never  cut  down  a  cherry  tree, 
nor  did  he  throw  a  dollar  across  the  Delaware  River. 
Martha  Washington  was  not  his  legal  wife;  she 
was  his  mother/  His  wife's  name  was  Mary.  You 
may  know  this,  but  there  are  thousands  who  do  not. 


POPULAR  QUOTATIONS  FALSELY  ATTRIBUTED 
TO  THE  HOLY  BIBLE 
Among  popular  quotations  that  are  falsely  attrib- 
uted to  the  Holy  Bible  are  these: 

"God  tempers  the  wind  to  the  shorn  lamb."  The 
origin  of  this  is  from  Sterne's  "Sentimental  Journey 
to  Italy." 

"In  the  midst  of  life  we  are  in  death." — Burial  ser- 
vice, originally  from  Luther. 

"Cleanliness  is  akin  to  godliness." 
"Little  children,  love  ye  one  another." 
Bibles  still  carry  the  date  4004  B.C.  opposite  the 
first  chapter  of  Genesis.    But  very  few  people  of  to- 
day believe  that  the  world  was  only  4000  years  old 
when  Jesus  was  born. 


' ,*  *\  *  *  » 


88  THE  FERRET 

Now  to  more  thoroughly  explain  the  effect  of  the 
"holy  black  bottle"— 


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